Earlier this week in Sterling, Virginia an armed man wearing a Hillary Clinton mask robbed the local Wachovia Bank branch. According to the Loudoun Times:
The man walked into the Wachovia bank in Community Plaza about 9:14 a.m., approached a teller, brandished a firearm and demanded cash, according to Loudoun County sheriff's office reports.
The robber then fled the bank in an unknown direction with an undisclosed amount of cash.
No injuries were reported, according to Kraig Troxell, spokesman for the Loudoun County Sheriff's Office.
Witnesses described the robber as a 6-foot-tall black man. He was last seen wearing a black jacket with a red shirt underneath, according to reports. Apparently nobody at the bank was fooled by the disguise. Perhaps if the robber had worn a tacky pants-suit (with an appropriate amount of padding in the pants), spoke in a voice that sounded like fingernails on a blackboard and demanded all of the “Ws” be removed from the bank’s keyboards he may have pulled off the hoax.
I don’t know about anybody else, but I can’t wait for this man to be captured so we can find out why he chose to wear a Hillary Clinton mask. Was it because she was really the first black first lady? Could it be that he feels deep down inside he is a hideous white woman trapped in a black man's body? Was he trying to get Bill's attention? Maybe he wanted to wear a Nancy Pelosi mask, but couldn’t find one that looked phony enough to pass.
Barack Obama is not a suspect in this particular robbery as he was in Hawaii at the time keeping his laser-like focus on J-O-B-S, while getting in a few rounds of golf.
December 30, 2010
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