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October 12, 2010
Michelle's Marlboro Man
Healthy kid spokesperson Michelle Obama is on a one-woman mission to restrict personal food choices and monitor American grocery lists. Yet, there is an issue that screams “hypocrisy” to the sugar addicts Michelle deprives of Twinkies®.
Fact is, the dilettante of dietary purism is married to a man that furtively breathes out second hand smoke. While Michelle is out touting “vegetable cleanses,” Barry is mucking up presidential pulmonary tissue with hydrogen cyanide and staining the White House porte-cochere a shade of nicotine yellow.
During Obama’s tenure, the First Lady could have chosen to represent the “Stop Smoking” campaign. Instead of jumping through hula-hoops and planting organic gardens, Michelle could have been traveling the country, dousing smokers with fire extinguishers, crushing half-finished cigarettes with designer shoes, and sharing first-hand accounts of being forced to pick cigarette butts out of the South Portico flowerbeds.
Let’s face it, hawking a hale-and-hearty America while married to a man addicted to Marlboro Reds is on par with Giada De Laurentiis’s hubby slipping out nightly for dinner at Denny’s. Maybe Michelle could convince Barry to ditch the butts by talking COPDs instead of BMIs.
It’s hard to imagine the imperious Barack Obama, purveyor of nudging, controlling and dictating, being pushed around by a 4-inch entity stuffed with tobacco and lit by a flickable Bic®.
Who supplies the President with the contraband? Is there a Secret Service special detail that buys cartons of Marlboros which are stored in the bottom drawer of the Resolute Desk? Does the President squirrel away an extra stash in the Oval Office closet next to the last remaining bundle of Bill Clinton Memorial cigars.
Instead of supporting Haiti relief, Michelle should change gears and switch to smoking cessation infomercials. The First Lady could request a backdrop featuring Barry making smoke rings and practicing a French inhale. The campaign slogan could be: “If you want to preserve your life, whatever you do, don’t follow Obama.”
Recently, a top White House adviser suggested President Obama and John Boehner (R-OH) “would be good role models if both quit smoking.” Suddenly, Barack needs John Boehner to help him be a “good role model?” And how did John Boehner get dragged into this discussion anyway? Was Obama waiting for the opportunity to say “John made me do it?”
Apparently, the White House plan is to deflect attention from Barack’s future smoker’s cough by sending an advisor out on the Sunday morning talk circuit to call attention to John Boehner’s Camel Lights.
On CBS's “Face the Nation,” host Bob Schieffer asked White House aide David Axelrod if Barry would be willing to quit smoking along with John Boehner. What a brilliant idea! Obama can reach across the aisle in a spirit of bipartisanship and agree to give up cigarettes with John Boehner, which would be a perfect presidential welcome for Nancy Pelosi’s replacement.
Steering the conversation away from the Boehner/Obama SmokEnders suggestion, Axelrod asserted the Obama administration “wants to work constructively with Republicans on any issue.” Axelrod then pardoned the President for singlehandedly supporting Phillip Morris by reminding Schieffer that tar and nicotine-addicted Democrats have done more than “Republicans to rein in the tobacco industry.”
Obama smoking cigarettes while aides boast of “rein[ing] in the tobacco industry” is remarkably similar to the First Lady policing shopping carts while eating pulled pork at Dinosaur Bar-B-Q in Harlem. Preaching one thing while doing the other is an Obama family trait that explains how Michelle can demand a healthy America while Barry secretly vies for the title of Marlboro man.
Author’s content: www.jeannie-ology.com