Do Most Christians Decorate Christmas Trees With Ornaments of Chairman Mao and Transvestites?

Our beloved president has expressed bewilderment at recent polls showing large numbers of Americans doubt his commitment to Christianity.

Because we hate to see our president even a wee bit flummoxed, let's help him out. Do most Christians you know choose to decorate their Christmas tree with smiling images of Chairman Mao, who murdered at least 50 million of his countrymen, as well as signed photos of transvestite Hedda Lettuce? Well, that's the very special holiday magic the Obamas decided to hang on their tree for their first White House Christmas, courtesy of famed Barney's designer Simon Doonan.

Maybe we're just old-fashioned, but it's our impression that most Christians celebrate the holidays with more serene images of angels, snowflakes and scenes from the Nativity.

Also, do most Christians you know beautify their Christmas tree with images of themselves ensconced on Mount Rushmore? Oddly enough, that's just what Mr. Obama decided to hang on his tree, fresh from his triumph winning the Nobel Prize.  Perhaps images of Jesus or Mary were all sold out that day.

One other point: Most Christians of our acquaintance who want to pass on their sincere love of Christianity take their children to church on Christmas.  If so, they might want to speak to the president about that, since he couldn't be bothered -- on Christmas or any other week.

Of course, the likeliest explanation is he was too transfixed by that shiny image of himself on Mount Rushmore to even leave the room.

Our beloved president has expressed bewilderment at recent polls showing large numbers of Americans doubt his commitment to Christianity.

Because we hate to see our president even a wee bit flummoxed, let's help him out. Do most Christians you know choose to decorate their Christmas tree with smiling images of Chairman Mao, who murdered at least 50 million of his countrymen, as well as signed photos of transvestite Hedda Lettuce? Well, that's the very special holiday magic the Obamas decided to hang on their tree for their first White House Christmas, courtesy of famed Barney's designer Simon Doonan.

Maybe we're just old-fashioned, but it's our impression that most Christians celebrate the holidays with more serene images of angels, snowflakes and scenes from the Nativity.

Also, do most Christians you know beautify their Christmas tree with images of themselves ensconced on Mount Rushmore? Oddly enough, that's just what Mr. Obama decided to hang on his tree, fresh from his triumph winning the Nobel Prize.  Perhaps images of Jesus or Mary were all sold out that day.

One other point: Most Christians of our acquaintance who want to pass on their sincere love of Christianity take their children to church on Christmas.  If so, they might want to speak to the president about that, since he couldn't be bothered -- on Christmas or any other week.

Of course, the likeliest explanation is he was too transfixed by that shiny image of himself on Mount Rushmore to even leave the room.

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