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August 7, 2010
Trash Can Your Liberal Spouse?
I really enjoy reading AT articles but there is a consistent and thin stratum of thought in the comment sections that really provokes excavation. This pedestrian thinking is that one is justified in walking away from their spouse if the political loci are polar opposites.
The typical situation is the angst created by a liberal partner married to a conservative partner.
Politics so consume the relationship that one spouse feels justified in taking the axe to the marriage due to the political discord.
This is priorities run amuck and the very pinnacle of selfishness. Anyone that puts politics above their marriage has turned wisdom on its head. It is called Holy Matrimony for many good reasons.
Some of you are objecting with loud protests saying that your spouse changed! Then the order of the day is to get over it and work through it. Anyone that can live a good portion of their life without changing is a certified zombie. Most of us are not raised correctly and we have to change to achieve a better life. Even those who come out of great homes still want to hone their skills, try new things, strive for perfection and mentor others. If we have already exchanged vows then our marriage is the safest and most nurturing environment to accomplish the change.
The time to reject someone for their politics is during the courtship, not after one says "I do." If you are a conservative ox and you are considering marriage to a liberal gazelle then you better think long and hard about being yoked to that gazelle. Do yourself a huge favor and step away now.
But if you are that ox and you are already yoked to the gazelle that is pushing and pulling and flinging mud in your eye then you are stuck and your best hope is for Jesus to come along and perform a metamorphosis. And He will do it but longsuffering will be your companion for a season.
My marriage is a very rich tapestry that has knit my wife's heart and my heart together. The strands that run lengthwise in the tapestry are called warp - one spouse. The strands crosswise are called woof - the other spouse. Tearing the tapestry in half, which is what divorce does, just mangles the whole piece. The two shall and have become one. The metamorphosis is far more a work of beauty and grace than the ripped tapestry. But I will acknowledge that sometimes God by concession and in His grace makes new tapestries out of the old and mangled pieces.
One is far better off to jettison Beck, Hannity and the TV rather than jettison your spouse. This is not to say that you have to change your belief system. But the point is that if you have to turn off the TV or the radio to keep the peace then do it. Find something else to do together: wainscot in the dining room, paint the bathroom, new landscaping, or train a puppy. How about if each spouse writes a hate letter to the politician they despise most? The idea is anything but intense battle with each other.
Then just show up to mark your ballot and leave it at that.
Any philosophy or world view that suggests one can set aside their spouse for political differences is black rot. The only legitimate reasons for one to leave their spouse are abandonment, sexual activity with someone outside of the marriage or abuse. And even then it still might be wiser to seek intense comprehensive help, work through the issues and reconcile the marriage, but this process takes real wise counselors and God's intensive care
The enemy within is usually more deadly than the enemies lurking about in this context.
My spouse is never the enemy. But my selfishness and what I want may very well be. I understand that liberalism speaks to core values of a person. But the way we deal with the wretchedness we find in our spouse is the same method we use to deal with the wretchedness we find in our own heart patience, long suffering, acceptance and prayer.
Ron Hunnicutt is a freelance writer from Visalia, California.