Drunk Violent Landlords Are Finally the Good Guys!

Great news for the New York housing market -- landlords are finally the good guys! Yes, wise old Mayor Bloomberg and our beloved President Obama have just given their warmest good wishes for landlords to collect unpaid rent by storming in, screaming curses and beating the heck out of their tenants. And the news gets even better, landlords -- your brother is allowed to do it too!

Yes, just act like Sharif el-Gamal, the developer of the Ground Zero Mosque, and punch your brother's tenant so hard you break his nose and cheekbones, and America's ruling class will fall at your feet. You may even get Mayor Bloomberg to give a weepy press conference, surrounded by a gaggle of rabbis, in which he sheds tender tears over your right to insult the American people by building a Victory Mosque in the heart of their deepest wound.

Of course, it helps if you've been arrested seven times for everything from patronizing prostitutes to disorderly conduct to petit larceny.  And that you owe $224,270.77 in back taxes on the site. After all, our ruling class likes to see persistence and commitment in the lowlifes they champion.

As for all you churlish naysayers out there --- didn't you know that drunken, violent, felonious tax cheats have an absolute, unquestioned right to build freakish mega-mosques in buildings owned by Con Edison that directly impinge on the subway line?

For goodness sake, it's in the Constitution! Look it up!

Well, we can always look on the bright side: at least Sharif el-Gamal isn't scary like Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin. You'll never find him leading 500,000 people in solemn hymns to America's greatness and the ideals of our Founding Fathers. Not a chance of that!

Great news for the New York housing market -- landlords are finally the good guys! Yes, wise old Mayor Bloomberg and our beloved President Obama have just given their warmest good wishes for landlords to collect unpaid rent by storming in, screaming curses and beating the heck out of their tenants. And the news gets even better, landlords -- your brother is allowed to do it too!

Yes, just act like Sharif el-Gamal, the developer of the Ground Zero Mosque, and punch your brother's tenant so hard you break his nose and cheekbones, and America's ruling class will fall at your feet. You may even get Mayor Bloomberg to give a weepy press conference, surrounded by a gaggle of rabbis, in which he sheds tender tears over your right to insult the American people by building a Victory Mosque in the heart of their deepest wound.

Of course, it helps if you've been arrested seven times for everything from patronizing prostitutes to disorderly conduct to petit larceny.  And that you owe $224,270.77 in back taxes on the site. After all, our ruling class likes to see persistence and commitment in the lowlifes they champion.

As for all you churlish naysayers out there --- didn't you know that drunken, violent, felonious tax cheats have an absolute, unquestioned right to build freakish mega-mosques in buildings owned by Con Edison that directly impinge on the subway line?

For goodness sake, it's in the Constitution! Look it up!

Well, we can always look on the bright side: at least Sharif el-Gamal isn't scary like Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin. You'll never find him leading 500,000 people in solemn hymns to America's greatness and the ideals of our Founding Fathers. Not a chance of that!

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