Government Motor's upcoming IPO

Henry Percy
Government Motors handled the Chevy/Chevrolet name fiasco so well that the company is ready to dilute its stock with an IPO next month. After the announcement relegating "Chevy" to the dustbin of history was met with dismay by proud Chevy owners across the land, Alan Batey, the marketing genius behind the memo, said it was "a rough draft" and "a bit of fun." Ah, what fun - give your remaining dealers apoplexy at the prospect of debranding a well-known brand.

Maybe Mr. Batey had his eye on a position somewhere else in the federal government. Robert Gibbs or Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack could have used his services a few days ago. They humiliated themselves with groveling apologies to Sheryl Sherrod for firing her. Mr. Batey could have brought a light-hearted approach to a flak's nightmare: "I want to assure Ms. Sherrod that when I fired her I was just having ‘a bit of fun.' No, this administration is committed to diversity: why exclude racists from our ranks? After all, what's wrong with sending whitey back to ‘his own kind' rather than helping him get a government-backed loan?"

In getting ready for its IPO, Government Motors just announced it is buying one of the largest originators of subprime auto loans in the country. It worked out so well last time ... But in the short run it should put more cars into the hands of those who cannot afford them, moving more product and making the company stock attractive for the IPO. And the IPO will no doubt go well, with massive support from the underwriters and large blocks bought under mysterious street names (fronts for US Treasury money?). Then President Obama can brag about the success of his administration's partnership with the private sector.

So how long can it be till the Obamacrats hold a contest to create the best jingle for Government Motors? Let's start now: add yours in the Comments. Herewith a few to subprime the pump:

Chevy - like a bureaucrat.

Bureaucrats in motion.

An American tragedy.

Henry Percy is the nom de guerre for a technical writer living in Arizona. He may be reached at saler.50d@gmail.com.

Government Motors handled the Chevy/Chevrolet name fiasco so well that the company is ready to dilute its stock with an IPO next month. After the announcement relegating "Chevy" to the dustbin of history was met with dismay by proud Chevy owners across the land, Alan Batey, the marketing genius behind the memo, said it was "a rough draft" and "a bit of fun." Ah, what fun - give your remaining dealers apoplexy at the prospect of debranding a well-known brand.

Maybe Mr. Batey had his eye on a position somewhere else in the federal government. Robert Gibbs or Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack could have used his services a few days ago. They humiliated themselves with groveling apologies to Sheryl Sherrod for firing her. Mr. Batey could have brought a light-hearted approach to a flak's nightmare: "I want to assure Ms. Sherrod that when I fired her I was just having ‘a bit of fun.' No, this administration is committed to diversity: why exclude racists from our ranks? After all, what's wrong with sending whitey back to ‘his own kind' rather than helping him get a government-backed loan?"

In getting ready for its IPO, Government Motors just announced it is buying one of the largest originators of subprime auto loans in the country. It worked out so well last time ... But in the short run it should put more cars into the hands of those who cannot afford them, moving more product and making the company stock attractive for the IPO. And the IPO will no doubt go well, with massive support from the underwriters and large blocks bought under mysterious street names (fronts for US Treasury money?). Then President Obama can brag about the success of his administration's partnership with the private sector.

So how long can it be till the Obamacrats hold a contest to create the best jingle for Government Motors? Let's start now: add yours in the Comments. Herewith a few to subprime the pump:

Chevy - like a bureaucrat.

Bureaucrats in motion.

An American tragedy.

Henry Percy is the nom de guerre for a technical writer living in Arizona. He may be reached at saler.50d@gmail.com.