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March 24, 2010
Here's the good news about Obamacare
Cheer Up: Good News About the Government Takeover of Health Care:
A lot of opponents of the President's policies whine that the $787 billion stimulus that he insisted had to be voted on RIGHT NOW in February, 2009 didn't keep the unemployment rate below 8% as he promised. You want jobs? Obama and the democrats will show you jobs. This bill provides for the employment of 16,500 new IRS agents. These are good jobs. In fact, they are the very best kind in the age of Obama, jobs working for the federal government, with guaranteed benefits, due process before discipline or termination, unlike those in the mean private sector, and awesome representation by unions like Barack's BFF's in the SEIU. But, wait, as they say on those cool informercials, there's more! Over 50 new federal programs and commissions, including the new (and Orwellian-sounding) Health Choices Commissioner. Somebody has got to warm those chairs in Washington, and that means, as Joe Biden would say, only one thing: a three letter word-JOBS! Take that, you naysaying, bitter clinger and closet racist!
FEWER ILLEGAL ALIENS INVADING AMERICA
With the drag on the dynamism of our economy imposed by crushing government regulations and taxes, our country won't be such a magnet for them, at least until Obama creates some public service announcements in Spanish explaining to them that they don't need to get jobs to get "free" health care and many other government-funded goodies, the number of which will only increase after they arrive and start voting for democrats. So, for a while, at least, we've got this one going for us.
BABY BOOMERS WILL GET WHAT THEY DREAMED OF IN THE SIXTIES!
More drugs for everyone! Since there won't be enough doctors to treat everyone, especially all of those who decide to over utilize the medical system now that it's "free," when you can't get in to see the doctor for several weeks, almost certainly you'll be able to get a script for some painkillers to tide you over, shut you up, and after a certain (and rapidly lowering) age, lull you off to a permanent nap. Isn't this what Woodstock was all about?
THE JOY OF "GIVING"
The joy of knowing that slacker 20-somethings can get drunk without having to worry about not having medical care after they total their parents' cars, or pay for an abortion to get rid of the inconvenient consequences of a night of partying, and best of all, that YOU get to help pay for it! I concede that using the word "giving" to characterize handing your hard-earned scratch over when the alternatives are fees, fines, penalties or imprisonment might stretch the meaning of the word a bit, but you're still making sure that these "children" don't have to get up before noon. Thank God they shouldn't have to!
THE REASON WE HAVE KINDLES, IPADS, IPHONES AND LAPTOPS
Think of all the books you'll be able to read during those hour long waits if and when you finally are lucky enough to get an appointment with the doctor! So if you can still afford one of those high-tech reading devices, you be able to have enough reading material for several hours, and you can listen to podcasts and watch video. Otherwise, better get yourself to the library or the used book store and stock up on paperbacks.
This list of benefits, just like the democrats' ambitious plans for us, is just the beginning. As you can see, you should always look on the bright side of life, particularly when you are lucky enough to live in a country led by the Anointed One. Praise be his name.
Teri O'Brien is a radio talk host, author and public speaker. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org, or at her website, http://www.teriobrien.com