The Night Before Christmas in Washington
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Senators were stirring, beginning to grouse;
The bribes had been made to the blue dogs with care,
In hopes St. Obama soon would be there;
The liberals were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of health care danced in their heads;
Harry at the podium, and Max his first mate,
Had just settled down for a long night's debate,
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a black limousine and eight comrades near,
With a tall, dark leader who looked like a jock,
I knew in a moment it must be Barack.
More rapid than eagles his sycophants came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Emanuel! now, Axelrod! now, Jarrett and Biden!
On, Gibbs! on, Sebellius! on, Holder and Clinton!
To the top of the dome! to the top of the wall!
Now pass the bill, pass the bill, pass the bill all!"
So up to the house-top the sycophants flew,
With a bag full of favors, and St. Obama too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the floor
The lying and scheming of liberals at war.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the aisle Obama came with a bound.
A bundle of promises he drew from a stack,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they pierced! his demeanor how scary!
His pen like a sword, ready to parry!
His sinister mouth was drawn up like a bow,
as he criticized insurance as business so low;
He declared he alone would clean up the mess,
and others before him should quietly confess;
He said he's the change we all did await,
that he and the doctors would now hold our fate.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread;
He spoke no more, but went straight to his work,
And browbeat the blue-dogs; each scoring a perk,
The principle scribes, they observed the new regs,
and reported the victory with chills up their legs.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chamber he strode;
He sprang to his limo, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all drove like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"ObamaCare for all, we made history tonight."