Kentucky census worker not murdered by crazy right wingers

Here is how CBS News reported, in September, on the death of a census worker in Kentucky.   

 “Terror in Kentucky: Census Worker's Murder.  Body Found Naked, Hanging From Tree in Cemetery; Had Been Gagged, Duct Taped, 'Fed' Scrawled on Chest..

"'He was murdered,’ Weaver said. ‘There's no doubt.’ ... I said, 'Bill you be careful when you go over to eastern Kentucky to do your census work. Some of the people over there may not understand that you're just collecting statistics,' friend Gilbert Acciardo told CBS News..

“Although anti-government sentiment was one possibility in the death, some in law enforcement also cited the prevalence of drug activity in the area - including meth labs and marijuana fields - although they had no reason to believe there was a link to Sparkman's death.”

 

So who did it?  Anti-government terrorists? Meth-crazed druggies?  Kentucky moonshiners?  Those Deliverance type mutants we all know haunt the backwoods of the south?

 

Two months later, the results of the official investigation are in. From Fox News:

 

Investigators: Kentucky Census Worker Killed Himself... Investigators say Sparkman acted alone in manipulating the scene to conceal the suicide...  They believe he killed himself and made it look like a murder because he'd recently taken out two life insurance policies that wouldn't pay out for suicide.”

And just when we thought we could pin it on anti-government southerners who probably listen to Rush Limbaugh, read Mark Levin and have a copy of the Constitution at home.

I’m sure there was a playwright somewhere ready with the next Laramie Project to fit the situation, with the protagonist/antagonist following a government-worker/anti-government right-winger storyline instead of the homosexual/homophobe cliché.  But instead of watching the Kentucky Project in theaters this spring, the morally superior and politically correct will have to settle for the 27th showing of the Vagina Monologues.

 

Here is how CBS News reported, in September, on the death of a census worker in Kentucky. 

 

 “Terror in Kentucky: Census Worker's Murder.  Body Found Naked, Hanging From Tree in Cemetery; Had Been Gagged, Duct Taped, 'Fed' Scrawled on Chest..

"'He was murdered,’ Weaver said. ‘There's no doubt.’ ... I said, 'Bill you be careful when you go over to eastern Kentucky to do your census work. Some of the people over there may not understand that you're just collecting statistics,' friend Gilbert Acciardo told CBS News..

“Although anti-government sentiment was one possibility in the death, some in law enforcement also cited the prevalence of drug activity in the area - including meth labs and marijuana fields - although they had no reason to believe there was a link to Sparkman's death.”

 

So who did it?  Anti-government terrorists? Meth-crazed druggies?  Kentucky moonshiners?  Those Deliverance type mutants we all know haunt the backwoods of the south?

 

Two months later, the results of the official investigation are in. From Fox News:

 

Investigators: Kentucky Census Worker Killed Himself... Investigators say Sparkman acted alone in manipulating the scene to conceal the suicide...  They believe he killed himself and made it look like a murder because he'd recently taken out two life insurance policies that wouldn't pay out for suicide.”

And just when we thought we could pin it on anti-government southerners who probably listen to Rush Limbaugh, read Mark Levin and have a copy of the Constitution at home.

I’m sure there was a playwright somewhere ready with the next Laramie Project to fit the situation, with the protagonist/antagonist following a government-worker/anti-government right-winger storyline instead of the homosexual/homophobe cliché.  But instead of watching the Kentucky Project in theaters this spring, the morally superior and politically correct will have to settle for the 27th showing of the Vagina Monologues.