Monopoly World Championship Reflections

Harold Witkov
The 2009 Monopoly World Championship just concluded yesterday in Las Vegas. with a lad from Norway the winner.  Contestants from around the world competed at Caesars Palace at a game that has remained true to itself over the years.

If the game did change with the times, however, it would be very different today. For starters, Monopoly Money would instead be Obama Money, and no players would ever win because rules would necessitate all would be doomed to bankruptcy.

Most TOKENS would have to be changed.  The car would be an electric car.  The cannon and the battleship would be out because they send a violent message. The dog would look like “Bo,” and the shoe would be in the image of a $500 Michelle Obama sneaker.

The game board would look different too. FREE PARKING would be PAID PARKING. There would be an INCOME TAX space and a LUXURY TAX space on all four sides. Landing or passing GO would cost $200.  Nobody would ever GO TO JAIL and the IN JAIL space would instead read IN GITMO.

COMMUNITY CHEST and CHANCE cards would have a stronger emphasis on more taxes and higher assessments.  GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards would instead read GET OUT OF GITMO FREE. Additional cards telling a player he has won a CZAR COMMISION, awarded the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, or will be receiving a HEFTY BAILOUT, will be part of the new mix.

If a new MONOPOLY game came out, most would probably complain that the updated version would be too depressing to play.  The Democrats, who presently have a monopoly in Congress, would be quick to point out that the revised game is actually better because the COMMUNITY CHEST cards of PAY HOSPITAL and DOCTOR’S FEE have been removed.
The 2009 Monopoly World Championship just concluded yesterday in Las Vegas. with a lad from Norway the winner.  Contestants from around the world competed at Caesars Palace at a game that has remained true to itself over the years.

If the game did change with the times, however, it would be very different today. For starters, Monopoly Money would instead be Obama Money, and no players would ever win because rules would necessitate all would be doomed to bankruptcy.

Most TOKENS would have to be changed.  The car would be an electric car.  The cannon and the battleship would be out because they send a violent message. The dog would look like “Bo,” and the shoe would be in the image of a $500 Michelle Obama sneaker.

The game board would look different too. FREE PARKING would be PAID PARKING. There would be an INCOME TAX space and a LUXURY TAX space on all four sides. Landing or passing GO would cost $200.  Nobody would ever GO TO JAIL and the IN JAIL space would instead read IN GITMO.

COMMUNITY CHEST and CHANCE cards would have a stronger emphasis on more taxes and higher assessments.  GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards would instead read GET OUT OF GITMO FREE. Additional cards telling a player he has won a CZAR COMMISION, awarded the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, or will be receiving a HEFTY BAILOUT, will be part of the new mix.

If a new MONOPOLY game came out, most would probably complain that the updated version would be too depressing to play.  The Democrats, who presently have a monopoly in Congress, would be quick to point out that the revised game is actually better because the COMMUNITY CHEST cards of PAY HOSPITAL and DOCTOR’S FEE have been removed.