The Dinky Demobile

Jan LaRue
When I checked out El Rushbo's Web site today, I thought he was spoofing about GM's joint venture with Segway to build the "Personal Urban Mobility Accessibility" vehicle, dubbed the P.U.M.A. Oh, no.

According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

"The 300-pound prototype runs on a lithium-ion battery and uses Segway's characteristic two-wheel balancing technology, along with dual electric motors. It's designed to reach speeds of up to 35 miles-per-hour and can run 35 miles on a single charge."

Here's the best part. The P.U.M.A "also would involve a vast communications network that would allow vehicles to interact with each other, regulate the flow of traffic and prevent crashes from happening." I'd love to hear how they interact with a New York cab driver.

From the looks of P.U.M.A., I'm guessing that the same Democrats who want to run GM are in on the design. Think about it:

  • Dick Durbin rack and pinion steering means there's no way in hell you're making a right turn
  • The Nancy Pelosi Perrier water pump with the optional lime squeeze valve
  • The Chuck Schumer horn won't stop even after you're flattened by an 18-wheeler
  • Harry Reid Offstar GPS can't find the way out of your garage
  • The Al Gore heater is a nasty lecture debunking the myth of cold air
  • Barbara Boxer distributor caps look just like government-subsidized Planned Parenthood condoms
  • The Robert Gibbs exhaust manifold sucks the carbon dioxide out of your lungs before you're ready to exhale
  • The Eric Holder universal joint eases your pain while the battery recharges
  • The Barney Frank tailgate handle makes cruising so much easier
  • The George Soros drive train takes you anywhere he wants you to go
  • The Dennis Kucinich alternator is a pack of teensy-weensy solar lights
  • A 2000 page repair manual keeps you company in the second seat
  • You can get any color you want as long as it's green
  • The government warranty has a disclaimer advising that you can't sue the sovereign without permission, and you ain't gonna get it
When I checked out El Rushbo's Web site today, I thought he was spoofing about GM's joint venture with Segway to build the "Personal Urban Mobility Accessibility" vehicle, dubbed the P.U.M.A. Oh, no.

According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

"The 300-pound prototype runs on a lithium-ion battery and uses Segway's characteristic two-wheel balancing technology, along with dual electric motors. It's designed to reach speeds of up to 35 miles-per-hour and can run 35 miles on a single charge."

Here's the best part. The P.U.M.A "also would involve a vast communications network that would allow vehicles to interact with each other, regulate the flow of traffic and prevent crashes from happening." I'd love to hear how they interact with a New York cab driver.

From the looks of P.U.M.A., I'm guessing that the same Democrats who want to run GM are in on the design. Think about it:

  • Dick Durbin rack and pinion steering means there's no way in hell you're making a right turn
  • The Nancy Pelosi Perrier water pump with the optional lime squeeze valve
  • The Chuck Schumer horn won't stop even after you're flattened by an 18-wheeler
  • Harry Reid Offstar GPS can't find the way out of your garage
  • The Al Gore heater is a nasty lecture debunking the myth of cold air
  • Barbara Boxer distributor caps look just like government-subsidized Planned Parenthood condoms
  • The Robert Gibbs exhaust manifold sucks the carbon dioxide out of your lungs before you're ready to exhale
  • The Eric Holder universal joint eases your pain while the battery recharges
  • The Barney Frank tailgate handle makes cruising so much easier
  • The George Soros drive train takes you anywhere he wants you to go
  • The Dennis Kucinich alternator is a pack of teensy-weensy solar lights
  • A 2000 page repair manual keeps you company in the second seat
  • You can get any color you want as long as it's green
  • The government warranty has a disclaimer advising that you can't sue the sovereign without permission, and you ain't gonna get it