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April 28, 2009
Tales From the 57 States: His Obamaness Has 'A Gift'
During the week of the anniversary of His Obamaness’ reign as POTUS for 100 days, much happened that displayed his oratorical prowess.
It came to pass that Prince Harry, Leader of the Senate, scribed words of great admiration concerning His Obamaness in a scroll about his, Harry’s, life as long a man of stature in the Realm of the 57 States.
In this scroll, Harry told how, when he heard His Obamaness address the people, he, Harry, said to His Obamaness, "'That speech was phenomenal, Your Obamaness.” His Obamaness replied, “I have a gift.” Such was His humility.
And, such was the power of His Obamaness’ gift that when he first began speaking to the people, many went weak and fell to the ground. In those days, they were known as the Swooners. Not to be confused with the Sooners who lived near the Lone Star State.
Important to the strength of His Obamaness’ phenomenal power as a speaker were two identical twins of diminutive stature, former circus clowns, who held up His tablets for reading the royal words. Their names were Small Change and Little Hope. So tiny were they, that the crowd could only see the tops of their heads when His Obamaness spoke.
When His Obamaness addressed the people, Change would stand to His right and Hope to His left, holding up identical tablets, just as they were identical, upon which were written the royals words that He spoke.
It came to pass that one day as His Obamaness was speaking to a gathering of distinguished alchemists, Change held up the wrong tablet for His Obamaness to read. Or maybe it was Hope. They were impossible to tell apart. Anyway,
Alas, His Obamaness began to re-read the first tablet of royal words for a second time, hence repeating Himself, repeating Himself. Such was the power of his speaking that few would have noticed had He not stopped and, looking down, commanded Change, or maybe it was Hope, to hold up the next tablet since He had already read that one.
Now when this came to pass, the alchemists laughed. Not as His Obamaness, of course, for He was Him who must not be laughed at. Instead, they laughed at Hope. Or maybe it was Change; they were the same.
No one would dare laugh at Him who must not be laughed at, for He was even likened to the Man of Nazareth of long ago.
In fact, it came to pass that an artist from the City of the Big Apple painted a portrait of His Obamaness with His arms outstretched and a crown of thorns on His head. The portrait was entitled “The Truth.” Such was the adoration with which He was held by many of the people of the Realm. His Obamaness: the very Incarnation of Truth.
The glorious portrait was hung in a place of travel transit called Union Square in the Big Apple. And, as voyagers gathered there to make their way on carriages to and from their shops in the city and their homes in boroughs and villages, they would stop. Then, with one voice, they would sing these words as they faced the portrait.
(To the tune of “We Love You Conrad”)With nary an eye dry, they sang full-throated.
[For an explanation of the title of this series see this video.]