Saturday Tales From The 57 States: The Three Amigos

After the Mid-April Day of Tribute, His Obamaness journeyed south of the border in search of three amigos and found them.

It came to pass that, after coin collection from some of the people of the 57 States, His Obamaness journeyed south to sit with the rulers there so that they might gaze upon his countenance. Chief among them were Raul Little Stogie from Cigarland, Sandi from Sandiland (longtime leader of the Sandinista National Liberation Front), and the always effervescent and demonstrative Hugo the Bookworm.

The three amigos.

Now, Little Stogie was exceedingly cordial to His Obamaness, offering to sit and discuss all matter of things with him. But when Little Stogie’s brother, Big Stogie, heard news of this, he announced to all Cigarland that Little Stogie had said things not on behalf of their people for whom he, Big Stogie, alone spoke.  Hence, Little Stogie was a muy pequeño amigo -- or, by pressing #1, a very small friend. I think.

When the time came for Sandi to address the rulers, His Obamaness sat silently attentive as Sandi spoke many unfavorable words against the Realm of the 57 States, against whom he once battled when Reaganus was POTUS.  While Sandi spoke, His Obamaness remained in the calm contemplative state of His tranquility, perhaps musing on the vast range of banks and car companies over which he ruled.

In the course of time, Hugo the Bookworm, who called Bush the Younger El Diablo, approached His Obamaness as one would approach his Jefe. As the Town Criers watched in wonder, His Obamaness arose from His chair to greet Bookworm as the worm presented a scroll to His Obamaness while smiling at the Town Criers, whose torches illuminated the event.

Upon the scroll were more words that spoke ill of the Realm. In his regal magnanimity, His Obamaness received the gift warmly and said, “I like scrolls.”  This surprised none, for the Town Criers had often proclaimed His Obamaness a giant among the learned of the day. In fact, Mario the Great Cuomo had once called His Obamaness “a new kind of intelligence,” but I digress.

After the gathering of the rulers from the South, Bob-ben-Baghdad-Bob, spokesman for the POTUS Palace, said His Obamaness “did an excellent job of expressing the values and priorities” of the 57 states. (Alas, none among the Criers asked when this happened.)  His Obamaness took, Bob Junior proclaimed, the 57 States “to a higher plane {sic} than the Venezuelans of the world.”  

None among the Criers asked Bob Junior how this understanding of a higher plain compared to the idea that the gathering was meant to engage peers and colleagues.  But, indeed, there was much that Bob Junior said in those days that went unchallenged by the Palace Town Criers, for their zeal at discovering things new and revealing was weak.  Just like the scribe who penned the scroll that Bookworm gave to His Obamaness, the Palace Criers wrote what they believed, and disregarded that which was contrary.    

Junior spoke of the warmness between His Obamaness and the Bookworm saying, “I know he [meaning His Obamaness] got some criticism, but [the Realm] is bigger than Venezuela in the end.”  Such was Junior’s vast knowledge of all the nations of the earth, including their comparative sizes -- Junior being a veritable walking geographical encyclopedia.  

Well did Junior speak, for none among the rulers of the world had ever been grander than His Obamaness, who, thought He incarnated the Realm, carried upon Himself no responsibility for any deleterious matters that had ever happened in, from, or around the 57 States.  

Behold, His Obamaness: the Guiltless One.

[Note: The “57 States” in the title of this series evolved from a statement from candidate Obama. Video here.]

After the Mid-April Day of Tribute, His Obamaness journeyed south of the border in search of three amigos and found them.

It came to pass that, after coin collection from some of the people of the 57 States, His Obamaness journeyed south to sit with the rulers there so that they might gaze upon his countenance. Chief among them were Raul Little Stogie from Cigarland, Sandi from Sandiland (longtime leader of the Sandinista National Liberation Front), and the always effervescent and demonstrative Hugo the Bookworm.

The three amigos.

Now, Little Stogie was exceedingly cordial to His Obamaness, offering to sit and discuss all matter of things with him. But when Little Stogie’s brother, Big Stogie, heard news of this, he announced to all Cigarland that Little Stogie had said things not on behalf of their people for whom he, Big Stogie, alone spoke.  Hence, Little Stogie was a muy pequeño amigo -- or, by pressing #1, a very small friend. I think.

When the time came for Sandi to address the rulers, His Obamaness sat silently attentive as Sandi spoke many unfavorable words against the Realm of the 57 States, against whom he once battled when Reaganus was POTUS.  While Sandi spoke, His Obamaness remained in the calm contemplative state of His tranquility, perhaps musing on the vast range of banks and car companies over which he ruled.

In the course of time, Hugo the Bookworm, who called Bush the Younger El Diablo, approached His Obamaness as one would approach his Jefe. As the Town Criers watched in wonder, His Obamaness arose from His chair to greet Bookworm as the worm presented a scroll to His Obamaness while smiling at the Town Criers, whose torches illuminated the event.

Upon the scroll were more words that spoke ill of the Realm. In his regal magnanimity, His Obamaness received the gift warmly and said, “I like scrolls.”  This surprised none, for the Town Criers had often proclaimed His Obamaness a giant among the learned of the day. In fact, Mario the Great Cuomo had once called His Obamaness “a new kind of intelligence,” but I digress.

After the gathering of the rulers from the South, Bob-ben-Baghdad-Bob, spokesman for the POTUS Palace, said His Obamaness “did an excellent job of expressing the values and priorities” of the 57 states. (Alas, none among the Criers asked when this happened.)  His Obamaness took, Bob Junior proclaimed, the 57 States “to a higher plane {sic} than the Venezuelans of the world.”  

None among the Criers asked Bob Junior how this understanding of a higher plain compared to the idea that the gathering was meant to engage peers and colleagues.  But, indeed, there was much that Bob Junior said in those days that went unchallenged by the Palace Town Criers, for their zeal at discovering things new and revealing was weak.  Just like the scribe who penned the scroll that Bookworm gave to His Obamaness, the Palace Criers wrote what they believed, and disregarded that which was contrary.    

Junior spoke of the warmness between His Obamaness and the Bookworm saying, “I know he [meaning His Obamaness] got some criticism, but [the Realm] is bigger than Venezuela in the end.”  Such was Junior’s vast knowledge of all the nations of the earth, including their comparative sizes -- Junior being a veritable walking geographical encyclopedia.  

Well did Junior speak, for none among the rulers of the world had ever been grander than His Obamaness, who, thought He incarnated the Realm, carried upon Himself no responsibility for any deleterious matters that had ever happened in, from, or around the 57 States.  

Behold, His Obamaness: the Guiltless One.

[Note: The “57 States” in the title of this series evolved from a statement from candidate Obama. Video here.]