Daylight change crisis update

Al Gore has so far declined to take up our warnings about the daylight change crisis highlighted by Richard Strimple here and here, even though the evidence is at least as compelling as that supporting the global warming crisis.  

Deniers are having a field day, claiming that December 22nd had slightly more daylight than Deecember 21st. But as with global warming, minor fluctuations should be ignored, and besides, we said it was all about change, as in climate change. Remember, this is a crisis, so we should ignore all doubters.

Information is pouring in from readers:

Anthony Ciani, PhD writes:

Dear Editor,

I believe I have determined the cause of the Daylight Change crisis, and present for publication this Global Trade Effect.  Over many decades, there has been a steady and non-symmetric flow of goods into the United States.  This flow of goods has been predominantly counter to the rotation of the Earth, and may have ever so slightly perturbed its rotational precession.  With the rotational axis of the Earth more prone to shifting, a simultaneous flow of goods from South America into North America has acted to exaggerate its precession.

Many astronomers, who are by no means experts in Daylight Change or the Global Trade Effect, have stated that the Earth normally undergoes a cyclic change in daylight with a period of approximately one year.  For those of us that can recall the past year, we might remember that the amount of daylight did indeed increase starting near the end of last December; however, the Global Trade Effect has disturbed this natural periodic cycle.

Some observers have already noted that the loss of daylight may seem to have ebbed.  Indeed, due to the overall cyclic nature, the loss of daylight may cease, and even reverse itself for a short time.  We may even witness increasing daylight until approximately the end of June, 2009; however, the loss of daylight will once again be apparent, and may become completely irreversible if we fail to do something quickly.

The situation has become critical.  Some individuals living in the far North have already reported a complete lack of sunlight for a week or more.  It is imperative that we convene some sort of international panel on man-caused daylight change to evaluate the role of global trade in daylight change, and what steps can be taken to reduce global trade and counter the damage it has already caused.

D.H. Cooper writes:

It's all well and good to say that we're getting darker, but what I want to know is how did WE cause this? Where did we go wrong? You know, it happened on Bush's watch. I bet Cheney has tungsten futures and he's just waiting to cash in. Please shed some light on this for us, but remember, the more light pollution we create the fewer stars we can see. Aha! I 've got it. It's our light pollution which is sending all that brightness out into space. THAT'S why it's getting darker! Shoulda seen that coming. Turn off all the lights. Then it will get brighter!

The father of darkness change theory, and possible future Nobel laureate Richard Strimple writes:

We here at the Daylight Change Bureau of Statistics (DCBS) have made great progress in understanding the phenomenon of daylight loss and it's consequences.

Our research points to a little known compound -dioxi carbon- as a major contributor to daylight loss. Today dioxi carbon is a tiny component of our atmosphere, it comprises only about 38 hundredths of one percent of the atmosphere. In the past the atmosphere had much greater concentrations of this life giving compound. In low concentrations it is a forcing agent of dihydrogen monoxide. Recently huge areas of the northern hemisphere's atmosphere have been filled with gigantic clouds of dihydrogen monoxide gas. This gas blocks the sun and is a direct cause of daylight loss and lowered temperatures.

We therefore have some recommendations that the Government should enact immediately:

1. Ban the use of all fluorescent lights. They produce a poor quality of light and are extremely inefficient at converting electricity to heat. Halogen and Xenon bulbs are best.

2. Start a cap and trade system in which the government issues a warm cap to all citizens and encourages trading of small safety deficient vehicles for larger safer vehicles that can transport groups of  5 or more passengers and their gear.

3. Start an immediate release of excess daylight stored in the Strategic Daylight Savings Time Reserve in Roswell New Mexico.

We hope our government will take this crisis seriously and enact these recommendations.

Al Gore has so far declined to take up our warnings about the daylight change crisis highlighted by Richard Strimple here and here, even though the evidence is at least as compelling as that supporting the global warming crisis.  

Deniers are having a field day, claiming that December 22nd had slightly more daylight than Deecember 21st. But as with global warming, minor fluctuations should be ignored, and besides, we said it was all about change, as in climate change. Remember, this is a crisis, so we should ignore all doubters.

Information is pouring in from readers:

Anthony Ciani, PhD writes:

Dear Editor,

I believe I have determined the cause of the Daylight Change crisis, and present for publication this Global Trade Effect.  Over many decades, there has been a steady and non-symmetric flow of goods into the United States.  This flow of goods has been predominantly counter to the rotation of the Earth, and may have ever so slightly perturbed its rotational precession.  With the rotational axis of the Earth more prone to shifting, a simultaneous flow of goods from South America into North America has acted to exaggerate its precession.

Many astronomers, who are by no means experts in Daylight Change or the Global Trade Effect, have stated that the Earth normally undergoes a cyclic change in daylight with a period of approximately one year.  For those of us that can recall the past year, we might remember that the amount of daylight did indeed increase starting near the end of last December; however, the Global Trade Effect has disturbed this natural periodic cycle.

Some observers have already noted that the loss of daylight may seem to have ebbed.  Indeed, due to the overall cyclic nature, the loss of daylight may cease, and even reverse itself for a short time.  We may even witness increasing daylight until approximately the end of June, 2009; however, the loss of daylight will once again be apparent, and may become completely irreversible if we fail to do something quickly.

The situation has become critical.  Some individuals living in the far North have already reported a complete lack of sunlight for a week or more.  It is imperative that we convene some sort of international panel on man-caused daylight change to evaluate the role of global trade in daylight change, and what steps can be taken to reduce global trade and counter the damage it has already caused.

D.H. Cooper writes:

It's all well and good to say that we're getting darker, but what I want to know is how did WE cause this? Where did we go wrong? You know, it happened on Bush's watch. I bet Cheney has tungsten futures and he's just waiting to cash in. Please shed some light on this for us, but remember, the more light pollution we create the fewer stars we can see. Aha! I 've got it. It's our light pollution which is sending all that brightness out into space. THAT'S why it's getting darker! Shoulda seen that coming. Turn off all the lights. Then it will get brighter!

The father of darkness change theory, and possible future Nobel laureate Richard Strimple writes:

We here at the Daylight Change Bureau of Statistics (DCBS) have made great progress in understanding the phenomenon of daylight loss and it's consequences.

Our research points to a little known compound -dioxi carbon- as a major contributor to daylight loss. Today dioxi carbon is a tiny component of our atmosphere, it comprises only about 38 hundredths of one percent of the atmosphere. In the past the atmosphere had much greater concentrations of this life giving compound. In low concentrations it is a forcing agent of dihydrogen monoxide. Recently huge areas of the northern hemisphere's atmosphere have been filled with gigantic clouds of dihydrogen monoxide gas. This gas blocks the sun and is a direct cause of daylight loss and lowered temperatures.

We therefore have some recommendations that the Government should enact immediately:

1. Ban the use of all fluorescent lights. They produce a poor quality of light and are extremely inefficient at converting electricity to heat. Halogen and Xenon bulbs are best.

2. Start a cap and trade system in which the government issues a warm cap to all citizens and encourages trading of small safety deficient vehicles for larger safer vehicles that can transport groups of  5 or more passengers and their gear.

3. Start an immediate release of excess daylight stored in the Strategic Daylight Savings Time Reserve in Roswell New Mexico.

We hope our government will take this crisis seriously and enact these recommendations.