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November 1, 2008
Kyle-Anne, a Blonde, Responds to Dunn
Dear Mr. Dunn:
Although we've never met, I must confess to a secret love affair with your writing. Not only do I adore the seductive, boyish mischievousness of your way with words, I occasionally am tempted to envy your virile verbal thrusting. Your prose demonstrates the kind of innate self-confidence for which I've always yearned, yet never seem to fully acquire. Yes, I'm quite enthralled from afar by your linguistic eloquence and style, Mr. Dunn.
But all good things must come to an end, don't you know. And today you have wounded me to the very core of my blonde identity, even sinking so low as to mock my past as a cheerleader who married a handsome jock. You've no idea the state I'm in as I hastily pen this defense. Years of pent-up rage are about to be unleashed upon you, Sir, and I simply hope that you will not hold it against me if ever we should meet face to face.
To begin, let me make it perfectly clear that I see straight through your attempt to employ the blonde stereotype with the few conservative female pundits who have shamelessly trashed Sarah Palin. Even as a blonde, with very limited intelligence, I'm able to see that you are simply doing to Parker and her clique what they have done to Governor Palin.
Did you assume we blondes would be too dumb to get your parody, Mr. Dunn?
Your attempt at parody aside, however, your lame effort to frame all below-the-belt criticism of Governor Palin as a purely-female character defect is positively shameful. Your sophomoric use of the vicious-blonde clique is a stereotype straight out of adolescent moviedom, and hardly worthy of your caliber.
Certainly, there is a grain of truth in your argument that women pundits have attacked Governor Palin's obvious sexual appeal out of jealousy. But surely, Sir, you must admit that males are just as prone to uncivil discourse against other males on similar ground. Was it not the ever-popular Governor Schwarzenegger of California, who mocked Barack Obama's "skinny" stature just yesterday? Do not hefty male jocks forever chide and deride those males whose minds outweigh their brawn? Do not super-intelligent males mock their macho brothers as too dumb to merit a desk job?
Suggesting that this type of sexuality-based bashing is a purely female thing is nothing but pure, unabashed poppycock.
Governor Palin, in my dumb-blonde opinion, was chosen as the Vice Presidential candidate primarily because of the energy issue. In early August, Rasmussen polling showed that a full 67% of Americans supported the "drill-here-drill-now" policy, for which Governor Palin has been the most outspoken proponent. Before taking on the corrupt all-boys club of power brokers of the Republican Party in Alaska, Governor Palin served on the Alaska Natural Gas and Oil Board and is considered by experts to know more about the energy issue than any other politician in America today.
The fact that our media elites and pundits have all but ignored this most salient ingredient in Mrs. Palin's resume says nothing about gender, but everything about their utter lack of journalistic integrity. The only place in America that these people can dare to call themselves journalists is among their own kind, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with their sexual appeal or lack of it. The fact that some conservatives -- both male and female -- have crossed over is merely a matter of their overinflated sense of job security -- in my dumb-blonde opinion -- and ought not be considered in any other light.
Your column today --in my humble opinion as a dumb blonde cheerleader -- is a shockingly sexist diatribe worthy only of the most vile, beneath-contempt creature still in existence today. You have shown yourself, Sir, to be a throwback to a bygone age. You are a male chauvinist, Mr. Dunn.
And, no Sir, lipstick will not turn you back into a prince.
With warmest regards,