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September 11, 2008
The Bourne Stupidity: Damon on Palin (updated)
It's hard to determine whether the ignorance, the childish reasoning or the arrogance was the most stunning aspect of actor Matt Damon's video about Sarah Palin that surfaced this week.
So mind numbing was his train of thought that the video should come with the warning that "viewing this material may result in lowering of user's IQ." He started off well enough, stating that "I think there's a really good chance that Sarah Palin could be President." It was all downhill from there however. It might be an alltime low for "Holly-Babble" political speak.
"That's (a Palin presidency) a really scary thing" added Damon, who reasoned with a perfectly straight face "because I don't know anything about her." Well that settles it then. No Matt Damon briefing? Obviously this woman is not qualified. And last week we thought the lack of a Meet the Press appearance was troubling.
"I know that she was the mayor of a really really small town "(Wasilla is shrinking all the time apparently) said Damon "and she has been Governor of Alaska for less than two years. It (McCain choosing her) was a political decision, but in terms of governance...it's a disaster."
Such a governance disaster that Alaskans give her approval ratings of above 80% consistently. This of course is in contrast to the "governance" abilities of Joe Biden, who has been a senator from a "really really small" state for nearly 40 years and in that time has managed to make his ego, his abuse of Amtrak and his proclivity to borrow speeches his trademarks. He is also the owner of some "really really small" vote totals in two different Presidential attempts.
Not to mention the contrast in "governance" with Barack Obama, who has had a "really really small" career as a state legislator in Illinois and has been running for President since both his primary and general election foes fell prey to sex scandals allowing him a seat in the United States Senate. Oh yeah, he was also a community organizer.
And the interview gets worse, hard as that is to believe. The burning question on Damon's mind was "does she believe that dinosaurs roamed the earth four thousand years ago?" (And we thought lipstick on a pig was important). So crucial is this to Damon that he repeated it several times, adding "I want to know that...I really do....That's an important issue....I want to know that."
Now, not being an enlightened Hollywood actor or talk show host on MSNBC, the relevance of this jurassic mystery to the job of Vice President was unclear until Damon explained that "she's going to have the nuclear codes...I need to know if she thinks dinosaurs where here four thousand years ago or if she tried to ban books."
All I can say is since Damon is obviously not an avid reader it is strange he is so concerned about book banning? And if it's all the same, I would hope a debate over gaps in the fossil record or public library editorial policy will not cloud any discussion with the Joint Chiefs if the "nuclear codes" are for some reason relevant. Why any of this is pertinent to Damon I haven't a clue.
He went onto babble something about the actuarial tables indicating a "one in three chance that McCain doesn't survive his first term" and claiming that having a "hockey mom as President" is like "a really bad Disney movie. It's totally absurd. A really terrifying possibility. It's crazy. I don't understand why more people aren't talking about it."
Perhaps they are talking about it, Mr. Damon. And perhaps they don't find you able to inform the debate. I may have to burn my "Bourne Identity" trilogy now.
Update from Russ Vaughn:
Hey Matt Damon, congratulations, genius, you just made my do-not-watch list with your dumb denunciation of Sarah Palin. It's taken you a little longer than most of your dim-bulb colleagues, but let me tell you, Matty, you are there now, Bubba, you have arrived, and guess what boy? It's a lifetime achievement; once there Matty, you are on that list forever. Even crawling into the Vice-President's residence and giving Sarah a sole-licking pedicure couldn't get your smug Hollywood butt off my list, ever.
You got that, Matt?
See, Matt, I'm pretty lenient with you Hollywood dips and tend to give you a lot of leeway because I understand that you're really not a bunch of Will Huntings. Nope, you're just a pack of photogenic dopes who can stand in front of a camera and recite memorized lines. Yeah, yeah, Matt, I've heard all about your vaunted Ivy League academic achievements and I think they are just more Hollywood hype dreamed up by some little weasel who's taking a bigger percentage of your income than a truly smart man would willingly pay.
Something I just can't figure, Matt, about you and the industry you are part of. I spent my whole life in marketing and I just can't get my business brain around an entire industry that insists on pissing off more than half its potential customer base as a matter of routine. You Hollywood flakes base all your success on box office sales, yet you consistently come into my home via my TV set, my computer and newspapers and personally insult my intelligence by snidely telling me I'm some sort of political Neanderthal because I don't want to vote for your candidates. And in the process, you are relentlessly driving me, and the millions like me, away from local theaters, putting yourself on my never go see again and never order list from Netflix.
Really great deep thinking there, Ivy League Genius.
Your career success depends on box office receipts, especially from the opening weekend, but you take it upon yourself to spit in my face about my political beliefs and guarantee that no one from my family ever will be sitting in the seats watching your latest insipid performance on opening weekend. Yeah, boy, that is marketing genius, Matt. Just by keeping your mouth shut you could double your box office but no, you just insist on insulting me and mine. Brilliant! Just freakin' brilliant, you Ivy League genius!
Wonder why your industry is going down the tubes just slightly less precipitously than the New York Times, Matt? Perhaps it's because you, the entertainment industry, are mildly amusing and still hold some appeal for children. But little Pinch and his dying Grey Lady aren't read by too many children, Matt. Hell, they're not read by all that many adults anymore. Hey Matty boy, you're a big union supporter aren't you, like all Hollywood limousine liberals? So, do you have any harsh words for little Penny-Pinch putting over 400 union workers on the street this week? Nah, I didn't think so, because you need one of Pinch's snotty little tight-pants reviewers to make your latest piece of America-bashing trash sound good to the gullible, don't you?
Keep it up, Matt, you and all the ostriches in Hollywood, the newspaper industry and the network broadcasting industry. You fools just keep right on alienating more than half your potential market and we'll see where you end up. You and others like you are so out of touch with the America that made you that your cavalier dismissal of the beliefs and feelings of that very same America will someday see you as nothing more than Matt who?
Wanna guess how long it's been since I bought a theater ticket, Genius? And if it weren't for John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, James Stewart and their like, I'd cancel Netflix too. It's true I am about to break my long-standing boycott of Hollywood trash as I intend to go see An American Carol as soon as it's available.
So, what do you think about that, Matt who?