And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: "Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?"
[snip]
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.
From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.
[snip]
And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.
Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.
Comments
Holy Cr*p! Dang near soiled my BVDs. WWPS?*
*What would Patton say?
Posted by: Texas Tom | July 25, 2008 12:27 PM
And yea, though I walk through the valley of bullsh*t, I shall fear no liberal, for Thy common sense sustaineth me and Thy truth telleth me that that arrogant bastard's pride will be his downfall.
Posted by: Oracle | July 25, 2008 01:13 PM
Everyone was wondering if we could make fun of Obama? Gerard Baker has the answer: "Yes, We Can."
Posted by: Dan | July 25, 2008 01:23 PM
Mr. Baker's signal performance with the rapier of satire has put a small gash in the Obama dirigible.
The deflation of the vacuous gasbag from Chicago will continue in direct proportion to his verbal emissions and the uncritical media worship. I am hoping to see the airwaves flooded with his nonsense.
At some point even the dullest among us will figure out that this personality cult is appropriate to places like North Korea, and has not place in the United States. Some of them might even notice that proximity of this man to the levers of political power is dangerous by any objective standard.
Posted by: Bud Hammons | July 25, 2008 02:35 PM
wow....that's outright freaky.
Posted by: mark abby | July 25, 2008 03:38 PM
I have just shared this with every SENSIBLE person that I know. This is the best. Why can't we have reporter like this in America?
Posted by: Caleb | July 25, 2008 04:02 PM
Great piece....the media and moronic euro fawning over this jerk would be funny if it wasn't so sad and dangerous....for the first time in my life I'm embarrassed to be an American
Posted by: DaveC | July 25, 2008 05:00 PM
The Followers are not happy. The comments are almost as funny as this brilliant piece. Basically: "we do not think he is the messiah, he is just the one who will deliver us from." High comedy.
Posted by: J. Lichty | July 25, 2008 05:15 PM
Are we talking about Barack Hussein Obi-Wan? Will he turn into Darth Vader after his coronation?
Based on the readings from the fawning liberal MSM, the following applies:
"The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves."
--William Hazlitt
We may be getting the government we deserve if we don't wake up to reality and show up at the voting booths....... we need an overwhelming conservative grass-roots movement........ pass it on.
Posted by: LANYON | July 25, 2008 05:48 PM
DaveC,
Perhaps you did not really mean "... I'm embarrassed to be an American". Perhaps what you really meant to say was " what a shame that so many Americans are embarrassing themselves over BHO".
Also, I think I should go see if IowaHawk has anything to say about "the big trip".
Posted by: james | July 25, 2008 05:51 PM
Our Obama which art from Chicago
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done, in the Senate, as it was with Rizzo
Give us this day our daily fulsome lecture
And forgive us our cynicism as we forgive those whose taxes are egregious
And lead us not into delusion but deliver us from global warming
For thine is the kingdom and the power and the power and the power and the arrogance for four long years
Amen
Pray for me.
Posted by: SunnyvaleKen | July 25, 2008 05:58 PM
My God, I can't believe you people can't see greatness when it stands before you. If you don't believe me just ask Obambi he'll tell you.
Posted by: Don | July 25, 2008 08:02 PM
Speaking to a throng of loyal supports today, the Obamessiah had this to say:
"Behold, I give you these 10 Obacommandments, so that you may curry favor with me:
1. Thou shalt admire me
2. Thou shalt not say my middle name
3. Thou shalt not speak of my large ears
4. Thou shalt not criticize my wife, so that she may criticize others without retribution
5. Thou shalt not ask me of my mistakes. No, wait. I don't make mistakes. Nevermind
6. Thou shalt ignore that last one
7. Thou shalt admiringly discuss my lofty and vacuous rhetoric.
8. Thou shalt uh...uh, thou shalt ....uuhh... forget thy comfy lifestyle.
9. Thou shalt pay attention. If thou thinkest that I have changed my opinion or made a mistake, thou hast not been paying attention.
The Obamessiah has spoken."
Posted by: Ed | July 25, 2008 08:33 PM
This is not only absolutely hysterically funny, it perfectly captures the phenomena known as Barack Obama. Although I'm sure the true believers will dismiss Gerard Baker as being (a) racist, (b) ignorant, (c) bitter, or (d) all of the above aka the dread thing known as a conservative. After all, the Child hath spoken from on high the podium amid the Signs of the Party of the Righteous, reading from the Speech written upon the majestic Teleprompter and proclaimed, Thou Shalt Have No Other God Before Me; I am the Lord Thy God.
Posted by: Teddy | July 25, 2008 11:58 PM
Fabulous writing...just one question that remains unanswered and I challenge one and all to find the definitive answer.
Constitutionally does Obama qualify to be President, and who has the responsibility in government to check that question? Justice? Federal Elections Commission? Who?
There is sufficient evidence to open an investigation given that several world class document experts have proved the available birth certificate to be a fraud. Obama stonewalls the question.
We're only talking about the most basic aspect of the US Constitution. Or do we no longer care?
Posted by: Habu | July 26, 2008 12:30 AM
Habu,
Constitution? We don't need no stinking constitution. It gets in the way of our idiotic power grabs!
Don't you realize we wiped our collective pa toots with that gd piece of paper long ago!
Posted by: Vic | July 26, 2008 12:22 PM