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July 19, 2008

How Obama could prove he has a sense of humor

James Lewis
The nation is worried. Comedians from New York to LA are trying to figure out if they are allowed to make jokes about Barack Obama. Or even if they can think of any. REPORT about guy who said 20 times "don't think I'm a racist, but...".

Mr. Obama apparently lacks a sense of humor about himself, his prominet ears, and his wife. It's a National --- no it's a Global Comedy Crisis.


Think I'm kidding? In the LA Times, comedian Joel Stein writes that   

"Since the New Yorker dropped a bum joke on its cover this week, comedians have appeared on every news outlet to whine about how hard it is to make fun of Barack Obama. Really? They have an arsenal of jokes to use against a 71-year-old ex-POW cancer survivor and Obama is too touchy a subject?

"... When I called "Simpsons" writer Matt Selman for help on Obama jokes ... Selman nervously said, "Don't make me look racist!" about 20 times before and after telling me his joke."

That's the real problem, of course. All the comedians are scared gutless by the Official Obama Rulebook Against Offensive Jokes Aimed at Me. As the Leftist UK Guardian explains to the world, "Obama is off-limits."

It's a politician's paradise on earth. Nobody can laugh at him! It's the funniest thing since Joe Stalin.

Well, here's a way Obama could prove that he's not got the swelled head so bad that he's shot out of earth orbit. This idea got started when I was feeling bugged by a strong sense that Senator Obama reminds me of somebody ... somebody familiar. I just couldn't figure out who. It's been bothering me for weeks. 

Then I finally got it. It's Steve Martin's King Tut!

Now half of you are too young to remember this. So you have to imagine a young Steve Martin, or rather Senator Barack Obama, on stage in front of thousands of people, dressed in his King Tut costume, with the stripes and the headdress and all. And he's dancin' sideways, like a Pharaoh is supposed to. Steve Martin started it as a stage act, and ended up doing it on Saturday Night Live. 

Now this song basically has two notes: KING and Tut. And then just count "two, three, four/ one, two, three, KING Tut" again.

Simple. You can get it for 99 cents on iTunes.

To dance King Tut, you just move sideways to the music, with your arms up at right angles like an Egyptian wall painting.

Obama could learn it in a minute.

It goes at a sort of easy mincing pace.

Got it?

OK, maestro, please!

"King Tut"  - Steve Martin

(Slightly changed to be Politically Correct.)

When he was a young man,

Never thought he'd see

People stand in line to see the Boy King.


(KING Tut,  two, three, four/ one, two, three, KING Tut)


How'd you get so funky?

Did you do the donkey?

Born in Honolulah,

Went to Illinoiah


(KING Tut,  two, three, four/ one, two, three, KING Tut)


Now, if I'd a known

they'd line up just to see him,

I'd trade in all my money

And bought me a museum.


(KING Tut, etc.)


Buried with a donkey

He's my favorite zonkey!

Born in Honolulah,

Went to Ilinoiah


(KING Tut)


Dancin' by the Nile,

Ladies love his style,

Rockin' for a mile,


(Shout:) He ate a crocodile!


(KING Tut)


(Shout out:)


He gave his life for politics!

Golden idol!

He's an Egyptian!

He's sellin' you!


[Saxophonist pops out of a crypt for a solo ]


(Back to the tune)


Now, when I die,

don't think I'm a nut,

don't want a fancy funeral,

Just one like ole...  KING Tut.


(KING Tut)


Coulda won a Grammy,

Buried in his Jammies,

Born in Honolulah,

Went to Illinoiah,

(funny voice:)

He-was-born-in-Honolulah

Got-a-condo-made-of-stone-ah!

King Tut!"
Can't you just see Obama doing King Tut? Come on, lighten up!

I'm only trying to help, here, Obamanistas.

James Lewis blogs at dangeroustimes.wordpress.com

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