Russians Will Claim North Pole For Moscow

Will Santa Claus be forced to learn Russian? Isn't global warming about to claim the North Pole as one of its victims? What about the polar bears? Will they be drafted into Putin's army?

No word from Moscow on answers to any of these pressing questions. But nothing will deter them from planting a Russian flag on the seabed, staking claim to a place that every other country on the planet sees as belonging to no one:
Two Russian vessels - including an atomic icebreaker - are expected to reach the Pole this afternoon. There they will release two mini-submarines which will drop a metal tube containing a Russian flag onto the seabed.

The release is likely to take place tonight or tomorrow morning, according to organisers. The gesture, while symbolic, marks an escalation of the growing international dispute over who owns the Lomonosov Ridge, a 1,240 mile underwater mountain range that crosses the polar region. It is thought to contain rich oil and gas deposits.

Moscow believes the research mission will prove that the ridge is a geological extension of Russia, and can therefore can be claimed by Russia under the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea.
How novel! Maybe if we start thinking about it, we could come up with a few "geological extensions" of our own.

The Rocky Mountains geologically extend into Canada. Bye Bye Alberta and British Columbia. Hello states #51 and #52.

The Rio Grande geologically extends into Mexico. Ole! Solves the illegal immigration problem anyway. Can't be illegal if you're already a citizen.

Just a couple of examples of Russian logic on the matter. Seriously, this is pretty bizarre. No one is going to let the Russkies get away with drilling for oil or mining any minerals at the North Pole anyway and Moscow knows it. It's just one more indication that Putin is through playing nice with the west and could prove himself to be big trouble in the near future.
Will Santa Claus be forced to learn Russian? Isn't global warming about to claim the North Pole as one of its victims? What about the polar bears? Will they be drafted into Putin's army?

No word from Moscow on answers to any of these pressing questions. But nothing will deter them from planting a Russian flag on the seabed, staking claim to a place that every other country on the planet sees as belonging to no one:
Two Russian vessels - including an atomic icebreaker - are expected to reach the Pole this afternoon. There they will release two mini-submarines which will drop a metal tube containing a Russian flag onto the seabed.

The release is likely to take place tonight or tomorrow morning, according to organisers. The gesture, while symbolic, marks an escalation of the growing international dispute over who owns the Lomonosov Ridge, a 1,240 mile underwater mountain range that crosses the polar region. It is thought to contain rich oil and gas deposits.

Moscow believes the research mission will prove that the ridge is a geological extension of Russia, and can therefore can be claimed by Russia under the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea.
How novel! Maybe if we start thinking about it, we could come up with a few "geological extensions" of our own.

The Rocky Mountains geologically extend into Canada. Bye Bye Alberta and British Columbia. Hello states #51 and #52.

The Rio Grande geologically extends into Mexico. Ole! Solves the illegal immigration problem anyway. Can't be illegal if you're already a citizen.

Just a couple of examples of Russian logic on the matter. Seriously, this is pretty bizarre. No one is going to let the Russkies get away with drilling for oil or mining any minerals at the North Pole anyway and Moscow knows it. It's just one more indication that Putin is through playing nice with the west and could prove himself to be big trouble in the near future.