A satirical masterpiece

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Commenter Bumperstickerist at Just One Minute has penned a hilarious response to the fevered ravings of soime of our friends on the left. Tom Maguire has kindly moved it onto the body of the site, where I urge you to read the whole thing. A fair use excerpt:

I finally admitted to a liberal friend the obvious truth — I voted for Bush because he's both pure evil *and* the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth. I mean, seriously, look at just a couple key events:

Bush joins the Texas ANG — Kerry joins the Navy Reserves.

Bush completes TANG training for jets, flies jets, volunteers for Vietnam only to be told that the pilot skills he has aren't needed.

Kerry joins the Swift Boats at time they were patrolling off coas — the duty changes to river patrolling, Kerry gets shot at by people intent on killing him and his crew. Kerry leaves by choice after three months.

Advantage: Bush

Bush skates through the last two years of his TANG duty, but does so with such foresight as to bury almost all traces of his duty record leaving only notes from a dental record exam.

Kerry works as an admirals aide for the balance of his active duty stint — but manages to get caught on tape during a meeting where assassination is discussed, travels to Vietnam while on Reserve status to meet with the enemy, has his Silver Star citation ammended twice times, publishes an anti—war book that's later debunked.

Advantage:  Bush

Bush:  Sat for 6.5 minutes after hearing about the 9/11 attacks in a room with a bunch of kids, a teacher, and a camera crew.

Kerry:  Sat for an hour, stunned to the point of inaction, in a room full of adult elected officials with no camera present.

Advantage:  Bush

There's more.

Hat tip: Clarice Feldman   9 15 06

Commenter Bumperstickerist at Just One Minute has penned a hilarious response to the fevered ravings of soime of our friends on the left. Tom Maguire has kindly moved it onto the body of the site, where I urge you to read the whole thing. A fair use excerpt:

I finally admitted to a liberal friend the obvious truth — I voted for Bush because he's both pure evil *and* the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth. I mean, seriously, look at just a couple key events:

Bush joins the Texas ANG — Kerry joins the Navy Reserves.

Bush completes TANG training for jets, flies jets, volunteers for Vietnam only to be told that the pilot skills he has aren't needed.

Kerry joins the Swift Boats at time they were patrolling off coas — the duty changes to river patrolling, Kerry gets shot at by people intent on killing him and his crew. Kerry leaves by choice after three months.

Advantage: Bush

Bush skates through the last two years of his TANG duty, but does so with such foresight as to bury almost all traces of his duty record leaving only notes from a dental record exam.

Kerry works as an admirals aide for the balance of his active duty stint — but manages to get caught on tape during a meeting where assassination is discussed, travels to Vietnam while on Reserve status to meet with the enemy, has his Silver Star citation ammended twice times, publishes an anti—war book that's later debunked.

Advantage:  Bush

Bush:  Sat for 6.5 minutes after hearing about the 9/11 attacks in a room with a bunch of kids, a teacher, and a camera crew.

Kerry:  Sat for an hour, stunned to the point of inaction, in a room full of adult elected officials with no camera present.

Advantage:  Bush

There's more.

Hat tip: Clarice Feldman   9 15 06