Iowahawk is on a roll. Among his recent pieces I found this hilarious send—up of the Scandinavian UN—crats and their self—serving response to disasters:
Today, less than three weeks after global warming triggered the fearsome ocean waves that devastated the region, the needy victims are experiencing another tsunami. This time time, however, it is a happy tsnunami! The life—saving tsunami of United Nations coordination and assessment.
Working in conjunction with important non—government organizations, the United Nations sprang to action early. A high—level, 2000—member cross—functional rapid action force was dispatched to the affected region, as soon as UN travel staff could locate available airline seat upgrades. Upon arrival in South Asia, the action teams were soon busily hailing cabs and jitneys in order to quickly deploy to strategically—located hotels and resorts. After a quick nap, a brisk dip in the pool, and light lunch, the UN action teams were soon en route to areas near affected areas to begin the hard work of leading, coordinating, and assessing. Later, some local cabaret.
The impact of these efforts has been significant, and the UN teams have made many important progress reports to the UN Relief Council's coordinating leadership subcommittee. Their work is ongoing, but I am delighted to report they have achieved several milestone objectives. Highlights include:
- Under the leadership aegis of UNSNoRF Undersecretary Ralfke Bjarnerubbel, the executive steering committee has voted on a draft resolution to create coordination protocols between interagency observers.
- UNKGooBR and UNsNOT task force staff have organized response evaluation schemas for situational aid coordination, and assessed hotel minibar inventories.
- Room upgrades have been requested.
- The Ad Hoc Cultural Affairs subcommittee — comprised of UNLURm, UNCHiPs, UNeCCo, UNCOLA, and UNFuN — have produced a detailed proposal to produce judging guidelines for UN Tsunami Idol, a proposed regional Cultural Arts Festival.
- UNCLoDZ Deputy Secretary Manjiz al—Khaline has coordinated with various Indonesian NGOs to formulate plans to monitor, report, and counteract possible invasion by colonialist Zionist forces.
- Committee of the Whole has issued unanimous advisory warnings to illegally parked U.S. and Australian aircraft carriers, hospital ships, and helicopters.
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