The Grand Pretension: Genderlessness and Genderless Marriage

When a man and a woman make love, the miracles of conception and birth are possible. When two men attempt the same, the most glorious result possible is an anal discharge of semen mixed with fecal matter.  Yet in our current age, the intellects of those who are our societal elites – from Supreme Court Justices to executives in boardrooms to the President now occupying the Oval Office – are completely unable to detect any important difference between the two.  Likewise, they are incapable of discerning a difference between male and female and the significance of complementarity. 

Clearly, something is awry with prevailing views of marriage and human dignity when anal discharge constitutes consummation and genitalia are no longer indicative of gender.  The Self-Appointed Elites of our world have descended into depravity and are intent on taking each of us – especially our children and grandchildren – along with them. 

Genderlessness and Same-Sex Marriage:  Grand Pretensions

To be intellectually honest and true to myself, I had to move beyond the gay moniker.[i]  Many have said I am deceiving myself, that I am self-loathing, and that I have knuckled under to archaic societal norms. 

It is far easier, far wiser and a far more comfortable approach to life to surrender to truth – the Truth -- than it is to day in and day out exert a herculean effort to maintain what amounts to perpetrating a grand illusion, a pretension, a lie.  It’s exhausting work.  And while this is true for me as an individual, society’s attempt at sustaining the even grander pretension of the logic and rectitude of both genderlessness and same-sex marriage requires a more monumental, more exhausting effort on the part of many souls.

In fact, it is so difficult to maintain this grand illusion that it has required the full cooperation of academia, media – TV news, TV entertainment shows, major newspapers, major magazines, and major blog sites -- pundits, politicians, lawyers and judges over many years.  And more recently, the participation of major blue chip corporations along with MLB, the NBA and the NFL has been required.  Many of these now serve not only as supporters, but in the important role of enforcers in order to prevent the illusion from evaporating.  Even the Super Bowl and the NBA All-Star Game are now tools of leverage, wielded to coerce state governments who refuse to buy into the charade without exception.

 

ESPN recently fired Curt Schilling because he was willing to state the obvious about men using women’s bathrooms, and now it seems Sports Illustrated plans to put a picture of a nude sexually confused elderly gentleman pretending to be a woman on its cover this summer.  We rightly fret over our high school and college-aged daughters being forced by government bureaucrats to share their locker rooms with naked men, no matter how effeminate they may be.  And while it isn’t spoken about much, boys and men really don’t savor the thought of running into Chaz Bono or another male in mind only in our locker rooms.  While most of America still possesses a healthy sense of modesty and shame, our elites have neither.

The grand pretension has reached a previously unimaginable level of grandiosity.  The illusion has been so successful that the size of the gay and lesbian population is overestimated even by folks on Main Street to a stunning degree.  Gallup reports that the American public believes, on average, that 23% of Americans are gay or lesbian, when in fact only about 1.7% are.  That’s fourteen times (1,400%) the actual number of self-identified gays and lesbians.  And what is the actual number of self-identified transgendered persons?  Less than three one-thousandths (0.003) of the population of the United States – just 700,000 people, fewer than the population of Columbus, Ohio.

A Diabolical, Massive Redistribution of Stress

The divorced gay dads and lesbian moms who are raising children may not realize it, but they are engaging in massive redistribution of pain and stress.  Same-sex attracted parents who want to end their marriages to their opposite-sex spouses and explore same-sex relationships think to themselves, “The kids will be alright,” or, “It’s better if the kids see me being ‘true to myself.’”

Yet if they were to take the time to place themselves in their children’s shoes, they might see a sobering reality:  From his kids’ perspective, daddy has destroyed their secure home.  Daddy thinks he should be venerated for his decision, and that perhaps he should even receive a congratulatory call from the White House, which he would if he were a closeted national sports figure looking for attention.  After all, Daddy does not want to bear any guilt in his conscience for either destroying his kids’ secure family home or for his odd behavior.  He prefers to slough it off and make his children feel guilty instead. 

The bottom line of what he has communicated to his kids is, “Daddy loves the penises and other body parts of men more than he loves our family.”  While Daddy is careful to keep alive in his own mind the fantasy that his kids view him as a sort of hero, it is the truth about the abandonment of their family, not Daddy’s contrived fantasy about his heroism, that actually gets etched into the hearts of his children.  In their hearts, they don’t sense Daddy is a hero for what he has done.  They more likely see him as having wielded a chainsaw, ripping their family apart.  And what’s more, the kids are forbidden to talk about their pain.  Dad can’t permit it because it will ruin his peace, or worse yet, cause him to rethink his unfortunate decisions.

In this way, gay dads and lesbian moms have taken their pain of formerly denying themselves homosexual experiences, and, through their decisions and actions, successfully ease that pain, transferring it to their kids who must now bear a tremendous burden of stress, formerly borne by their parent.  It’s a supreme act of selfishness.  Gay dads and lesbian moms make themselves happy, at least for a little while, by sloughing off their pain -- the burden of their dysfunction -- on their kids.  Could there be a more cynical, more demon-tinged approach to parenting than that?  Yet it took me a very long time to realize that this was what in fact I myself was doing. 

In the same way, but on a much more spectacular scale, the institutionalization of genderlessness represents a massive redistribution of stress within our nation.  A vivid example illustrating this principle recently occurred at a Missouri high school. When a senior who is a male but who thinks of himself as female insisted that he be permitted use of the girls’ locker room during gym class, over one hundred of his fellow students walked out of school in protest.  While he called their protest an act of bigotry, it was, in reality, a symptom of stress redistribution, which is increasingly rampant in the arena of both genderless marriage and genderlessness issues in general. The young man, who experienced some level of stress due to his gender dysphoria sought to slough off his stress and hoist it onto the shoulders of his fellow students, many of whom are girls who are uncomfortable with a male student watching them undress in their locker room.

This is the principle that is in action when wedding vendors – bakers, florists, photographers, caterers, hoteliers as well as county licensing clerks and so on – are confronted with demands from gay and lesbian couples who insist that they provide services for their genderless marriage ceremony.  The stress stemming from the dysfunction of mono-gendered couples that feel hurt because of their dysfunction is relieved by transferring it to those who disagree with the notion of same-sex marriage.  Their stress is exemplified in a very real way in the way these folks are attacked in the press and in social media, forcing them to go to court, shut down their business, or endure hostility from anti-complementary marriage proponents.  Large fines, sometimes exceeding $100,000, have been levied on those who only seek to keep their conscience clear while honoring God and natural law.  In this way, the redistribution of stress becomes acutely punitive.

The 1.7% of Americans who self-identify as gay are experiencing a false sense of liberation, while the other 98.3% have shouldered a great burden which doesn’t belong to them.

A Diabolical Declaration of Independence

 Misogyny is roundly condemned in our society, and misandry is not generally recognized as existing. Yet there is one segment of society that practices both misogyny and misandry to unheard of degrees: The LGBT Community. 

Same-Sex Marriage, bolstered by the new ability to scientifically/medically engineer children, is a Declaration of Independence from Half the Human Race for Gays and Lesbians.

For gay couples that seek to engineer children to adorn their “marriages,” the mothers of their children are discarded as soon as the child is born. In gays’ eyes, mothers/women serve no purpose in raising children.  It’s not just that Mom is absent:  Quite tragically, Mom never actually existed.  These children bear in their souls the knowledge that they were created precisely to be deprived of a Mom, in order to attempt to fill the emptiness in Daddy’s life.  This is a fact that will be communicated on a daily basis by gay dads to their children, something that seems to receive little attention from the LGBT community and their benighted supporters in the worlds of social science and the media.  Women are nothing more than breeders. When in the history of humanity have women been held in greater contempt?  Never.

Likewise, lesbian couples that seek to engineer children for their marriages reduce men to being nothing more than sperm donors. In the world of lesbian parents, men serve little purpose.  It’s startling that society used to be extremely concerned about children growing up in fatherless homes.  That concern has quickly fallen by the wayside as we are now told that we were incorrect before: The value of the presence of the father in a child’s life has been dropped to zero.  What is actually important is that children simply have two parents, not their mother and father, present in the house.  Biology and gender are now deemed completely irrelevant. 

Do you see how we are being nudged in a diabolical manner to forget what we know deep inside our hearts and minds to be true?   What is more astounding than the tactic is that it seems to be working so well.

The evils of misandry and misogyny are finding their way into our neighborhoods and schools through genderless marriage.  And they are becoming foundations upon which new “families” are being built.

While same-sex marriage is held by many to be a giant leap forward in the name of freedom, tolerance and sophistication, the exact opposite is true.  Same sex marriage is a step backward for human rights and human dignity. It is by no means progressive:  It is regressive.  It is a means for reducing the current level of respect for human dignity our society now enjoys. It is a Trojan Horse, smuggling an unheard of horde of unintended consequences into our homes and communities, unleashing a destructive attack from within, an attack which has caught us by surprise. The great crime here is that we haven’t even considered the unintended consequences before quickly welcoming this strange imitation of marriage.

 Undermining Natural Gender Identity:  The Contagion of Diabolical Uncertainty

During the late 1960’s and 1970’s when I was a boy experiencing the stirrings of same-sex attraction, I had to accept a certain degree of uncertainty about where my life was headed and why.  But at least back then I knew to a great degree what the future held for me because everyone around me reinforced a simple truth:  I would grow up to be a man, and most likely, get married and have a family. 

But young boys don’t have that certainty anymore.  The adult world around them has pulled the rug out from under their nascent manhood: 

  • You might grow up to be gay; or
  • You might grow up to be bisexual; or
  •  You might grow up to be androgynous; or
  • You might grow up to be a transvestite; or
  •  You might grow up to be transsexual; or
  • You might, in essence, grow up to be a womandepending on how you feel inside; or
  • You might grow up and choose to amputate your penis, take hormones and grow breasts; or                                   
  • You might grow up to be some form of sexual being no one has ever conceived of being until you decide for yourself what that is.

Oh, and by the way, there’s also one more possibility: 

  • You might grow up to be a man -- A man who is romantically and sexually attracted to women and who wants to one day get married.

That which used to be guaranteed – a never questioned source of great comfort and assurance -- now appears to be a long shot.

The most trusted adults in a child’s world, his parents, teachers, adult relatives and neighbors, are withholding absolute biological truths from him out of an unwarranted allegiance to political correctness.   They think they are being sophisticated and ‘with it.’ They perhaps worry about future recriminations from a child who later in life might say, “I felt different and nobody understood or supported me.” And in so doing, they are sacrificing over 98% of all children for the less than 2% of those who might experience same-sex attraction or the infinitesimally smaller percentage who experience gender dysphoria.

How awful for a young boy to be uncertain as to whether or not he will grow up to be a man!  What a horrifying environment for a child:  His own parents, teachers and counselors have such little confidence in his burgeoning manhood.  Is there a more diabolical method of parenting?

Sacrificing the Most Vulnerable on the Altar of Political Correctness

As a gay man, I have watched liberal elites, as well as some who claim to be conservative – our Ruling Class Duopoly – increasingly deny both science and natural law, sacrificing society’s most vulnerable on the altar of political correctness. 

To continue to resolutely ignore the evidence that sonograms provide that a fetus is indeed a human life is akin to withholding newly available DNA evidence to exonerate a falsely imprisoned man or woman.   They sacrifice the most vulnerable of souls – the unborn -- on the altar of political correctness. The self-appointed elites of our world have descended into depravity and are intent on taking each of us – especially our children and grandchildren – along with them. 

Adapted from Doug Mainwaring’s forthcoming book, Marriage, Ground Zero: The Real Battle Dawns. Last year he originated and coauthored an amicus brief submitted to the U.S. Supreme Court regarding the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals consolidated same-sex marriage cases (Obergfell v Hodges), popularly known as Same-Sex Attracted Men and Their Wives. Doug can be reached at doug.MGZ@aol.com 


[i] While I identify myself as a gay man, I do so in the same way a longtime participant in Alcoholics Anonymous would never fail to introduce himself as an alcoholic. I no longer practice homosexuality, and am happily restored to marriage with my wife, but I am well aware of my human frailty and maintain a healthy respect for the power of the flesh and the lure of the world. I love my wife, my soul mate, the mother of my children, and am dedicated to our life and our future together, til’ death do us part.

When a man and a woman make love, the miracles of conception and birth are possible. When two men attempt the same, the most glorious result possible is an anal discharge of semen mixed with fecal matter.  Yet in our current age, the intellects of those who are our societal elites – from Supreme Court Justices to executives in boardrooms to the President now occupying the Oval Office – are completely unable to detect any important difference between the two.  Likewise, they are incapable of discerning a difference between male and female and the significance of complementarity. 

Clearly, something is awry with prevailing views of marriage and human dignity when anal discharge constitutes consummation and genitalia are no longer indicative of gender.  The Self-Appointed Elites of our world have descended into depravity and are intent on taking each of us – especially our children and grandchildren – along with them. 

Genderlessness and Same-Sex Marriage:  Grand Pretensions

To be intellectually honest and true to myself, I had to move beyond the gay moniker.[i]  Many have said I am deceiving myself, that I am self-loathing, and that I have knuckled under to archaic societal norms. 

It is far easier, far wiser and a far more comfortable approach to life to surrender to truth – the Truth -- than it is to day in and day out exert a herculean effort to maintain what amounts to perpetrating a grand illusion, a pretension, a lie.  It’s exhausting work.  And while this is true for me as an individual, society’s attempt at sustaining the even grander pretension of the logic and rectitude of both genderlessness and same-sex marriage requires a more monumental, more exhausting effort on the part of many souls.

In fact, it is so difficult to maintain this grand illusion that it has required the full cooperation of academia, media – TV news, TV entertainment shows, major newspapers, major magazines, and major blog sites -- pundits, politicians, lawyers and judges over many years.  And more recently, the participation of major blue chip corporations along with MLB, the NBA and the NFL has been required.  Many of these now serve not only as supporters, but in the important role of enforcers in order to prevent the illusion from evaporating.  Even the Super Bowl and the NBA All-Star Game are now tools of leverage, wielded to coerce state governments who refuse to buy into the charade without exception.

 

ESPN recently fired Curt Schilling because he was willing to state the obvious about men using women’s bathrooms, and now it seems Sports Illustrated plans to put a picture of a nude sexually confused elderly gentleman pretending to be a woman on its cover this summer.  We rightly fret over our high school and college-aged daughters being forced by government bureaucrats to share their locker rooms with naked men, no matter how effeminate they may be.  And while it isn’t spoken about much, boys and men really don’t savor the thought of running into Chaz Bono or another male in mind only in our locker rooms.  While most of America still possesses a healthy sense of modesty and shame, our elites have neither.

The grand pretension has reached a previously unimaginable level of grandiosity.  The illusion has been so successful that the size of the gay and lesbian population is overestimated even by folks on Main Street to a stunning degree.  Gallup reports that the American public believes, on average, that 23% of Americans are gay or lesbian, when in fact only about 1.7% are.  That’s fourteen times (1,400%) the actual number of self-identified gays and lesbians.  And what is the actual number of self-identified transgendered persons?  Less than three one-thousandths (0.003) of the population of the United States – just 700,000 people, fewer than the population of Columbus, Ohio.

A Diabolical, Massive Redistribution of Stress

The divorced gay dads and lesbian moms who are raising children may not realize it, but they are engaging in massive redistribution of pain and stress.  Same-sex attracted parents who want to end their marriages to their opposite-sex spouses and explore same-sex relationships think to themselves, “The kids will be alright,” or, “It’s better if the kids see me being ‘true to myself.’”

Yet if they were to take the time to place themselves in their children’s shoes, they might see a sobering reality:  From his kids’ perspective, daddy has destroyed their secure home.  Daddy thinks he should be venerated for his decision, and that perhaps he should even receive a congratulatory call from the White House, which he would if he were a closeted national sports figure looking for attention.  After all, Daddy does not want to bear any guilt in his conscience for either destroying his kids’ secure family home or for his odd behavior.  He prefers to slough it off and make his children feel guilty instead. 

The bottom line of what he has communicated to his kids is, “Daddy loves the penises and other body parts of men more than he loves our family.”  While Daddy is careful to keep alive in his own mind the fantasy that his kids view him as a sort of hero, it is the truth about the abandonment of their family, not Daddy’s contrived fantasy about his heroism, that actually gets etched into the hearts of his children.  In their hearts, they don’t sense Daddy is a hero for what he has done.  They more likely see him as having wielded a chainsaw, ripping their family apart.  And what’s more, the kids are forbidden to talk about their pain.  Dad can’t permit it because it will ruin his peace, or worse yet, cause him to rethink his unfortunate decisions.

In this way, gay dads and lesbian moms have taken their pain of formerly denying themselves homosexual experiences, and, through their decisions and actions, successfully ease that pain, transferring it to their kids who must now bear a tremendous burden of stress, formerly borne by their parent.  It’s a supreme act of selfishness.  Gay dads and lesbian moms make themselves happy, at least for a little while, by sloughing off their pain -- the burden of their dysfunction -- on their kids.  Could there be a more cynical, more demon-tinged approach to parenting than that?  Yet it took me a very long time to realize that this was what in fact I myself was doing. 

In the same way, but on a much more spectacular scale, the institutionalization of genderlessness represents a massive redistribution of stress within our nation.  A vivid example illustrating this principle recently occurred at a Missouri high school. When a senior who is a male but who thinks of himself as female insisted that he be permitted use of the girls’ locker room during gym class, over one hundred of his fellow students walked out of school in protest.  While he called their protest an act of bigotry, it was, in reality, a symptom of stress redistribution, which is increasingly rampant in the arena of both genderless marriage and genderlessness issues in general. The young man, who experienced some level of stress due to his gender dysphoria sought to slough off his stress and hoist it onto the shoulders of his fellow students, many of whom are girls who are uncomfortable with a male student watching them undress in their locker room.

This is the principle that is in action when wedding vendors – bakers, florists, photographers, caterers, hoteliers as well as county licensing clerks and so on – are confronted with demands from gay and lesbian couples who insist that they provide services for their genderless marriage ceremony.  The stress stemming from the dysfunction of mono-gendered couples that feel hurt because of their dysfunction is relieved by transferring it to those who disagree with the notion of same-sex marriage.  Their stress is exemplified in a very real way in the way these folks are attacked in the press and in social media, forcing them to go to court, shut down their business, or endure hostility from anti-complementary marriage proponents.  Large fines, sometimes exceeding $100,000, have been levied on those who only seek to keep their conscience clear while honoring God and natural law.  In this way, the redistribution of stress becomes acutely punitive.

The 1.7% of Americans who self-identify as gay are experiencing a false sense of liberation, while the other 98.3% have shouldered a great burden which doesn’t belong to them.

A Diabolical Declaration of Independence

 Misogyny is roundly condemned in our society, and misandry is not generally recognized as existing. Yet there is one segment of society that practices both misogyny and misandry to unheard of degrees: The LGBT Community. 

Same-Sex Marriage, bolstered by the new ability to scientifically/medically engineer children, is a Declaration of Independence from Half the Human Race for Gays and Lesbians.

For gay couples that seek to engineer children to adorn their “marriages,” the mothers of their children are discarded as soon as the child is born. In gays’ eyes, mothers/women serve no purpose in raising children.  It’s not just that Mom is absent:  Quite tragically, Mom never actually existed.  These children bear in their souls the knowledge that they were created precisely to be deprived of a Mom, in order to attempt to fill the emptiness in Daddy’s life.  This is a fact that will be communicated on a daily basis by gay dads to their children, something that seems to receive little attention from the LGBT community and their benighted supporters in the worlds of social science and the media.  Women are nothing more than breeders. When in the history of humanity have women been held in greater contempt?  Never.

Likewise, lesbian couples that seek to engineer children for their marriages reduce men to being nothing more than sperm donors. In the world of lesbian parents, men serve little purpose.  It’s startling that society used to be extremely concerned about children growing up in fatherless homes.  That concern has quickly fallen by the wayside as we are now told that we were incorrect before: The value of the presence of the father in a child’s life has been dropped to zero.  What is actually important is that children simply have two parents, not their mother and father, present in the house.  Biology and gender are now deemed completely irrelevant. 

Do you see how we are being nudged in a diabolical manner to forget what we know deep inside our hearts and minds to be true?   What is more astounding than the tactic is that it seems to be working so well.

The evils of misandry and misogyny are finding their way into our neighborhoods and schools through genderless marriage.  And they are becoming foundations upon which new “families” are being built.

While same-sex marriage is held by many to be a giant leap forward in the name of freedom, tolerance and sophistication, the exact opposite is true.  Same sex marriage is a step backward for human rights and human dignity. It is by no means progressive:  It is regressive.  It is a means for reducing the current level of respect for human dignity our society now enjoys. It is a Trojan Horse, smuggling an unheard of horde of unintended consequences into our homes and communities, unleashing a destructive attack from within, an attack which has caught us by surprise. The great crime here is that we haven’t even considered the unintended consequences before quickly welcoming this strange imitation of marriage.

 Undermining Natural Gender Identity:  The Contagion of Diabolical Uncertainty

During the late 1960’s and 1970’s when I was a boy experiencing the stirrings of same-sex attraction, I had to accept a certain degree of uncertainty about where my life was headed and why.  But at least back then I knew to a great degree what the future held for me because everyone around me reinforced a simple truth:  I would grow up to be a man, and most likely, get married and have a family. 

But young boys don’t have that certainty anymore.  The adult world around them has pulled the rug out from under their nascent manhood: 

  • You might grow up to be gay; or
  • You might grow up to be bisexual; or
  •  You might grow up to be androgynous; or
  • You might grow up to be a transvestite; or
  •  You might grow up to be transsexual; or
  • You might, in essence, grow up to be a womandepending on how you feel inside; or
  • You might grow up and choose to amputate your penis, take hormones and grow breasts; or                                   
  • You might grow up to be some form of sexual being no one has ever conceived of being until you decide for yourself what that is.

Oh, and by the way, there’s also one more possibility: 

  • You might grow up to be a man -- A man who is romantically and sexually attracted to women and who wants to one day get married.

That which used to be guaranteed – a never questioned source of great comfort and assurance -- now appears to be a long shot.

The most trusted adults in a child’s world, his parents, teachers, adult relatives and neighbors, are withholding absolute biological truths from him out of an unwarranted allegiance to political correctness.   They think they are being sophisticated and ‘with it.’ They perhaps worry about future recriminations from a child who later in life might say, “I felt different and nobody understood or supported me.” And in so doing, they are sacrificing over 98% of all children for the less than 2% of those who might experience same-sex attraction or the infinitesimally smaller percentage who experience gender dysphoria.

How awful for a young boy to be uncertain as to whether or not he will grow up to be a man!  What a horrifying environment for a child:  His own parents, teachers and counselors have such little confidence in his burgeoning manhood.  Is there a more diabolical method of parenting?

Sacrificing the Most Vulnerable on the Altar of Political Correctness

As a gay man, I have watched liberal elites, as well as some who claim to be conservative – our Ruling Class Duopoly – increasingly deny both science and natural law, sacrificing society’s most vulnerable on the altar of political correctness. 

To continue to resolutely ignore the evidence that sonograms provide that a fetus is indeed a human life is akin to withholding newly available DNA evidence to exonerate a falsely imprisoned man or woman.   They sacrifice the most vulnerable of souls – the unborn -- on the altar of political correctness. The self-appointed elites of our world have descended into depravity and are intent on taking each of us – especially our children and grandchildren – along with them. 

Adapted from Doug Mainwaring’s forthcoming book, Marriage, Ground Zero: The Real Battle Dawns. Last year he originated and coauthored an amicus brief submitted to the U.S. Supreme Court regarding the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals consolidated same-sex marriage cases (Obergfell v Hodges), popularly known as Same-Sex Attracted Men and Their Wives. Doug can be reached at doug.MGZ@aol.com 


[i] While I identify myself as a gay man, I do so in the same way a longtime participant in Alcoholics Anonymous would never fail to introduce himself as an alcoholic. I no longer practice homosexuality, and am happily restored to marriage with my wife, but I am well aware of my human frailty and maintain a healthy respect for the power of the flesh and the lure of the world. I love my wife, my soul mate, the mother of my children, and am dedicated to our life and our future together, til’ death do us part.