Oy Vey! Nancy Pelosi Wants to Protect Me from Being Exploited

Nancy Pelosi is concerned about my being exploited by the Republicans.  Actually, people try to exploit me every day.  Powerful government officials in Nigeria -- the defense minister, the vice president, their sisters and aunts and stepsons -- write me regularly, asking me to help them hide in my bank account $10 million or so of their hard-earned savings.  (Admittedly, they do offer to let me keep half or more of it eventually, after they safely arrive in my neighborhood.)  Automobile makers foist runway models on me, promising me that if only I trade in my dependable and extremely loyal Honda Accord that dates back to a time when Accords were called "compacts," and instead drive the car in the commercial, these runway models will be unable to keep their hands off me.  Beer brewers promise me the same, if only I buy their advertised suds.   As an Orthodox rabbi, I really do not need that, even if they know how to make chulent.  And then there are...(Read Full Article)