Free Chocolates Next?

Finally the announcement came from the Ministry of Health: there would be free contraceptives for all women in Workers' Paradise.  No longer the wrenching choice between chips or contraception; proles can have both.  The Leader's Media Ministry, a branch of the Fiction Department, proclaimed the victory for the revolution, which would stop the oppression of women and was a great leap forward for "preventive medicine."  The new aspirin-a-day. In spite of the Ministry of Health's generosity, and Obama's Potemkin prattle that "manufacturing jobs are coming back" and that the economy is turning around, his message was drowned out when the Ministry of Plenty admitted that the Leader's Four-Year Plan and its generous but failed stimulus of $1.2 trillion had made for the longest period of unemployment since the great depression. In other efforts to improve the economy, the Leader nationalized two car companies, pushed "cash for clunkers," exerted unprecedented control over...(Read Full Article)