January 18, 2005
Oil future shock: Osama been Cheatin'!
Satire New York State Attorney General Elliot Spitzer shocked the world today —— as well as the state department and the Bush administration —— with his announcement that he is charging terrorist mastermind and al Qaeda head Osama bin Laden with insider trading. At a press conference brilliantly situated on the hallowed grounds where the World Trade Center once stood, Mr. Spitzer outlined an international investment scheme so heinous that, if properly prosecuted, could lead to the eventual capture and incarceration of America's greatest terrorist threat. Moreover, according to Spitzer, these investment manipulations have become the primary source of funding for the terrorist activities of al Qaeda, and, in particular, Abu Musab al—Zarqawi's organization within Iraq. As a result, any interruption in these activities will sever the lifeline of this network —— money —— and lead to America's eventual success in the...(Read Full Article)