Barack Obama's Excellent Israeli Adventure

It's Passover, and although Barack Hussein Obama's lineage is far removed from that of Abraham, the man should at least put a little of the emergency transfusion blood that they bring along in the president's motorcade over the lintels of his door.

Mr. Obama's first trip to Israel as president was similar to his Jakarta jaunt in 2010 and his "Return to Moneygall" tour in 2011.  In Indonesia, the trip was cut short when Java's Mount Merapi began spewing ash in Air Force One's direction.  In Ireland, while revisiting his roots, Obama's limo got hung up on a bump as it left the U.S. embassy.

In Israel, the trouble started when someone filled the engine of the president's $1.5-million armored limo with gasoline instead of diesel fuel.  Then the vehicle biblically dubbed "The Beast" had to be towed like a busted parade float through the streets of Tel Aviv on a flatbed truck.

It's unlikely that Obama recognized the parallel, but filling up a diesel-powered car with gasoline is a perfect analogy for what he has done to America.  A clueless Obama insists on filling the nation's tank with the wrong energy, and now America is broken, in need of repair, and praying to God that an alternate vehicle comes along to save us.

Nonetheless, after "The Beast" was demoted, Barack Obama, who everyone knows is perfect, was overheard apologizing to Bibi Netanyhu for his 600-person back-up team, saying, "It's embarrassing, our entourage.  My wife, Michelle, teases me mercilessly." 

Instead of blaming the help, Obama should have apologized for the conversation he had with Nicolas Sarkozy at the 2011 G20 summit that was picked up on an open microphone.  It was there that Sarkozy said of Netanyahu, "I cannot bear Netanyahu; he's a liar," to which Obama responded, "You're fed up, but I have to deal with him every day."  As Air Force One touched down at Ben Gurion Airport, an observant Israeli news commentator concisely summed up the Bibi/Barack relationship: "To tell the truth, they can't stand one another."

Rising above the rancor and deciding to let bygones be bygones, Obama greeted Netanyahu, saying, "Good to see you...and it's good to get away from Congress." The president's best effort at mending fences was to tell Bibi Netanyahu, who knows full well that Obama despises him, that there's actually an entity he despises even more.

Immediately following those cordialities, there was a state reception with Israeli President Shimon Peres, whom Obama called "brother," and Mr. Netanyahu, whom Obama did not call "brother," after which the president inspected the Iron Dome battery and met with Israeli Defense Forces.

From there Obama flew to Jerusalem for another reception at Peres's home.  That was where the Teleprompter Thespian put on his best Talmudic storyteller face and quoted from Honi and the Carob Tree.

Barack Obama, who's so adept at planting seeds of dissension and division here at home, left his mark in Israel by planting symbolic "seeds of progress ... security ... [and] peace."  Calling to mind Jesus's words -- "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots" -- the Israeli government plans to inspect the Jackson magnolia Obama planted in the Holy Land.  If the sapling fails the inspection, the newest addition to Peres's presidential garden will be uprooted.

After the tree ceremony, Obama visited Israel's Holocaust museum, Yad Vashem.  Disregarding the 55 million humans tragically slaughtered since 1973, it was at Yad Vashem that the man who supports another holocaust called abortion emphatically declared that "[a] holocaust will never happen again."

Donning a yarmulke, Obama relit an "eternal flame next to a stone slab above ashes recovered from extermination camps after World War Two."  While there, President Pro-Choice said, "We have a choice to acquiesce to evil or make real our solemn vow -- never again."

Obama pointed out that "we could come here 1,000 times, and each time your heart would break."  If the patron saint of NARAL really wants to comprehend heartbreak, he should check out abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell's murder trial up in New Black Panther poll-watching territory.

After Yad Vashem, Obama visited Mt. Hertzel and the graves of the founder of Zionism, Theodor Herzl and slain Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin.  From there it was off to Netanyahu's residence to discuss Iran, Syria, and the fate of Israeli spy/U.S. citizen Jonathan Pollard, currently serving life in a maximum-security prison in Illinois.  Then a press conference and a dinner unlike the dinner Obama didn't invite Mr. Netanyahu to when he left the Israeli prime minister sitting alone in the Roosevelt Room of the White House.

At Binyamei Ha'uma, the president addressed a group of Arab and Israeli students that understandably excluded those irritated with Obama for inflicting himself on Jerusalem during the wind-up to Passover.  Obama dined with Peres, went sightseeing, and breakfasted with Netanyahu at the lavish King David Hotel, where he and his crew took up 233 rooms, and did it all before scurrying off to spend time with King Abdullah in Jordan.

It's common knowledge that the president has a history of attracting flies, rats, lightning, and volcanic ash.  Therefore, it was standard fare when a fierce sandstorm grounded Obama's helicopter, forcing him to travel instead by car to Palestine-controlled Bethlehem in a slow-moving motorcade, where he met with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in Ramallah.

Not counting car repairs and travel costs, the excursion totaled $500 million in unblocked aid to the Palestinians, $200 million to the Jordanians, and a tow truck full of meaningless platitudes to Israel.

And so, at the end of Obama's Israeli vacation, the broken-down Beast and the backup blood were loaded back onto a cargo plane for the flight home.  Barry and his souvenir kippah departed the Holy Land possibly liking Netanyahu a teeny bit more than Congress.  Left behind were angry Israelis and Palestinians, a still-pending Jackson magnolia, a wreath at Yad Vashem, remnants of an Exodus-like sandstorm, and visions of Barack's big, butch, 18-foot-long armored limo being castrated by a tank of gas.

Author's content: www.jeannie-ology.com

It's Passover, and although Barack Hussein Obama's lineage is far removed from that of Abraham, the man should at least put a little of the emergency transfusion blood that they bring along in the president's motorcade over the lintels of his door.

Mr. Obama's first trip to Israel as president was similar to his Jakarta jaunt in 2010 and his "Return to Moneygall" tour in 2011.  In Indonesia, the trip was cut short when Java's Mount Merapi began spewing ash in Air Force One's direction.  In Ireland, while revisiting his roots, Obama's limo got hung up on a bump as it left the U.S. embassy.

In Israel, the trouble started when someone filled the engine of the president's $1.5-million armored limo with gasoline instead of diesel fuel.  Then the vehicle biblically dubbed "The Beast" had to be towed like a busted parade float through the streets of Tel Aviv on a flatbed truck.

It's unlikely that Obama recognized the parallel, but filling up a diesel-powered car with gasoline is a perfect analogy for what he has done to America.  A clueless Obama insists on filling the nation's tank with the wrong energy, and now America is broken, in need of repair, and praying to God that an alternate vehicle comes along to save us.

Nonetheless, after "The Beast" was demoted, Barack Obama, who everyone knows is perfect, was overheard apologizing to Bibi Netanyhu for his 600-person back-up team, saying, "It's embarrassing, our entourage.  My wife, Michelle, teases me mercilessly." 

Instead of blaming the help, Obama should have apologized for the conversation he had with Nicolas Sarkozy at the 2011 G20 summit that was picked up on an open microphone.  It was there that Sarkozy said of Netanyahu, "I cannot bear Netanyahu; he's a liar," to which Obama responded, "You're fed up, but I have to deal with him every day."  As Air Force One touched down at Ben Gurion Airport, an observant Israeli news commentator concisely summed up the Bibi/Barack relationship: "To tell the truth, they can't stand one another."

Rising above the rancor and deciding to let bygones be bygones, Obama greeted Netanyahu, saying, "Good to see you...and it's good to get away from Congress." The president's best effort at mending fences was to tell Bibi Netanyahu, who knows full well that Obama despises him, that there's actually an entity he despises even more.

Immediately following those cordialities, there was a state reception with Israeli President Shimon Peres, whom Obama called "brother," and Mr. Netanyahu, whom Obama did not call "brother," after which the president inspected the Iron Dome battery and met with Israeli Defense Forces.

From there Obama flew to Jerusalem for another reception at Peres's home.  That was where the Teleprompter Thespian put on his best Talmudic storyteller face and quoted from Honi and the Carob Tree.

Barack Obama, who's so adept at planting seeds of dissension and division here at home, left his mark in Israel by planting symbolic "seeds of progress ... security ... [and] peace."  Calling to mind Jesus's words -- "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots" -- the Israeli government plans to inspect the Jackson magnolia Obama planted in the Holy Land.  If the sapling fails the inspection, the newest addition to Peres's presidential garden will be uprooted.

After the tree ceremony, Obama visited Israel's Holocaust museum, Yad Vashem.  Disregarding the 55 million humans tragically slaughtered since 1973, it was at Yad Vashem that the man who supports another holocaust called abortion emphatically declared that "[a] holocaust will never happen again."

Donning a yarmulke, Obama relit an "eternal flame next to a stone slab above ashes recovered from extermination camps after World War Two."  While there, President Pro-Choice said, "We have a choice to acquiesce to evil or make real our solemn vow -- never again."

Obama pointed out that "we could come here 1,000 times, and each time your heart would break."  If the patron saint of NARAL really wants to comprehend heartbreak, he should check out abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell's murder trial up in New Black Panther poll-watching territory.

After Yad Vashem, Obama visited Mt. Hertzel and the graves of the founder of Zionism, Theodor Herzl and slain Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin.  From there it was off to Netanyahu's residence to discuss Iran, Syria, and the fate of Israeli spy/U.S. citizen Jonathan Pollard, currently serving life in a maximum-security prison in Illinois.  Then a press conference and a dinner unlike the dinner Obama didn't invite Mr. Netanyahu to when he left the Israeli prime minister sitting alone in the Roosevelt Room of the White House.

At Binyamei Ha'uma, the president addressed a group of Arab and Israeli students that understandably excluded those irritated with Obama for inflicting himself on Jerusalem during the wind-up to Passover.  Obama dined with Peres, went sightseeing, and breakfasted with Netanyahu at the lavish King David Hotel, where he and his crew took up 233 rooms, and did it all before scurrying off to spend time with King Abdullah in Jordan.

It's common knowledge that the president has a history of attracting flies, rats, lightning, and volcanic ash.  Therefore, it was standard fare when a fierce sandstorm grounded Obama's helicopter, forcing him to travel instead by car to Palestine-controlled Bethlehem in a slow-moving motorcade, where he met with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in Ramallah.

Not counting car repairs and travel costs, the excursion totaled $500 million in unblocked aid to the Palestinians, $200 million to the Jordanians, and a tow truck full of meaningless platitudes to Israel.

And so, at the end of Obama's Israeli vacation, the broken-down Beast and the backup blood were loaded back onto a cargo plane for the flight home.  Barry and his souvenir kippah departed the Holy Land possibly liking Netanyahu a teeny bit more than Congress.  Left behind were angry Israelis and Palestinians, a still-pending Jackson magnolia, a wreath at Yad Vashem, remnants of an Exodus-like sandstorm, and visions of Barack's big, butch, 18-foot-long armored limo being castrated by a tank of gas.

Author's content: www.jeannie-ology.com