Jealous God Obama Attacks Rival Religions
Thou shall have no other gods before Obama. For Obama is a jealous god who demands total obeisance.
In 2008, Americans voted to deify a unique man of history. Obama is much more than the first president to be raised by a transsexual nanny in Indonesia. He's also the very first commander-in-chief to thank his drug dealer in his high school yearbook, instead of his mom.
In the last election, public schoolteachers forced their students to sing hymns of praise to their puppy-eating Obama-god, and proudly placed their devotionals on YouTube. Media acolytes proclaimed him "The One" and "The LightBringer," and audiences fainted dead away at his rallies, presumably overcome by all that dang Light he was a'bringin'.
And religious people and institutions went right along with the whole preposterous charade, unfazed by this utterly un-American worship of a politician. (Can anyone imagine true believers fainting at an Eisenhower rally?)
Obama won 54% of the Catholic vote and 78% of the Jewish vote by tilting his chin towards the heavens, aglow with a media-affixed halo, and offering himself as a Replacement Deity.
"...A light will shine through that window, a beam of light will come down upon you, you will experience an epiphany ... and you will suddenly realize that you must go to the polls and vote for Obama," he told New Hampshire worshipers on January 7, 2008.
And when he won the nomination on June 3, 2008, he unleashed this self-sanctifying twaddle: "... Generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment...when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal." (Though the puppies may be out of luck.)
But if 2008 was the moment when a phony messiah sold nonsense on stilts, this is the moment when religious Americans must definitively decide before whom they kneel.
Forty-three Catholic institutions have filed a lawsuit against the Obama administration for violating their freedom of religion -- the largest religious lawsuit in American history.
Meanwhile, William Peter Blatty, famed author of The Exorcist, is suing his alma mater, Georgetown University, under Canon law, demanding that it either act in consort with Catholic values or cease calling itself Catholic.
What drove Blatty to such extreme measures? Georgetown's toadying selection of Obama's chief abortion enforcer, Kathleen Sebelius, as graduation speaker.
The ramshackle structure that held the Church's contradictions is falling apart, under the pressure of Obama's lordly blows. The University of Notre Dame conferred an honorary doctorate on Obama, despite his repeated, enthusiastic votes for infanticide. At Obama's insistence, Georgetown agreed to cover up its cross when he spoke there, so its rival sanctity would not distract from Dear Leader's divinity.
And the Church used its influence to help ram through ObamaCare, despite the obvious threats that this legal monstrosity posed to its most basic religious freedom.
But now, with its precedent-shattering lawsuit against the federal government, the Church has decided that no more of Obama's tyranny can be borne. And 60 million Catholic Americans are now forced to choose: are they with Obama or with the Church?
Meanwhile, the Jewish world is also splintering as Obama hammers it from on high. This week, an important battle in a Miami synagogue went national, when its invitation to Democratic National Committee chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz sparked an internal rebellion.
Apparently, not all members are eager to hear Wasserman Schultz spread honeyed lies over Obama's Israel-hating policies, especially from the pulpit in the sanctuary.
Prominent philanthropist Stanley Tate, 85, resigned from the synagogue, after it refused to move Wasserman Schultz's event to the auditorium and give him a forum for rebuttal.
In the acrimonious aftermath, the synagogue leadership canceled Wasserman-Schultz's speech, citing security concerns -- code words for "we can't stand to lose any more big donors."
And on June 3, when New York's Jewish community gathers for its annual Celebrate Israel parade, these internal tensions may erupt in a chorus of Bronx Cheers as the New Israel Fund marches by.
The Obama-worshiping Jewish establishment insists on including New Israel Fund in the parade, despite an outpouring of protest from the Jewish community. Funded by the European Union, NIF puts a happy, "pro-peace" face on its efforts to sabotage Israel by funneling grants to groups that promote Boycotts, Divestment, and Sanctions against the Jewish nation.
The battle over the Israel Parade is a preview of many bare-knuckled fights to come within the Jewish world. The liberal bigshots in the UJA-Federation may still bow to Obama, but the Jewish everyman in the deli is beginning to rise up.
On June 5, 2009, Newsweek editor Evan Thomas said, "In a way Obama is standing above the country, above the world. He's sort of God. He's going to bring all different sides together."
Now, in 2012, as Obama shatters our centuries-old religious comity, Americans must ask themselves: whom do they serve?
Write Stella Paul at firstname.lastname@example.org.