So What Happens if the Ground Zero Mosque Moves a Few Blocks?

Pity the poor New York politician. Take Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who was merrily reigning over New York, banning bake sales in public schools because he doesn't trust parents to monitor their children's cupcake ingestion. Now, all of a sudden, just because he trusts a sharia-spouting imam with mysterious Mideast millions to preach peace and love at Ground Zero, the whole country is mad at him. Why, he can practically feel his plan to sweep to the presidency on a "Make Mosques, Not Cupcakes" platform crumbling before his eyes.

And spare a tear for forlorn Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer. A bland hedgehog of a man, he glowed with confidence that all he had to do was call his fellow New Yorkers "outright haters and bigots" for opposing a Ground Zero Victory Mosque and they would clasp him to their hearts and crown him mayor. Now he's stuttering that he didn't know...didn't think...while waking up in a cold sweat at 3 A.M., realizing that every red-blooded American with a dollar will send it to whoever runs against him.

As the Victory Mosque for the Nineteen Martyrs debacle explodes across the headlines, New York's courageous politicians are running for cover, crying for mommy. Even ardent endorsements by Hamas and President Obama haven't helped.

Because it is an immutable law of nature that no New York politician will ever stand for any principle higher than his survival, the Great Do-Over must now be underway. How can these worthies save their darling little hides? What can they do to get that dang thing out of the headlines and lull everybody back to sleep once more? And what will happen when they do?

Well, dear reader, fortunately for you, Stella knows all. Join me now as we peer into Stella Paul's Crazy Crystal Ball.

Prophecy 1: Very soon, Imam Rauf will take time from his busy schedule of fundraising in the Middle East on the U.S. taxpayers' dime and meeting with genocidal Iranians to make the following announcement: 

"My fellow Americans, all I want for our mosque is to bring peace and understanding. Unfortunately, un-American bigots are now twisting the beauty of Islam to attack us, and their intolerance is placing every Muslim in danger. My own family has received death threats, and my face, which seeks only to turn with love to Allah and the Statue of Liberty, has been showered with spit from New Yorkers more hate-filled than Nazis.

"Therefore, because of the great danger to peace-loving Muslims and my Daisy, I am agreeing to move the mosque a few blocks away. This whole tragedy for Muslim-Americans began when Mayor Bloomberg and many Jewish leaders told us that New Yorkers would welcome a mosque at Ground Zero with open arms. Because we Muslims are trusting and have only friendship in our hearts, we fell into their Zionist trap." [Editor's note: a day after publication, the Ground Zero Mosque fiasco is being blamed on Zionists by Muslim spokesmen. 8/19/10 8:17 AM PDT]

Prophecy 2: Delirious with gratitude to Imam Rauf for agreeing to move the mosque, Mayor Bloomberg announces the city will donate a magnificent site. After a brief hubbub about separation of church and state, a red-faced Bloomberg withdraws his proposal but offers to buy the site with his own money. When Imam Rauf sulks about the city's betrayal, Mayor Bloomberg frantically agrees to pay for the entire mosque: $100 million for the biggest, best, most beautiful mega-mosque in North America! It's all on him!

(As you may remember, Mayor Thomas Menino of Boston giggled through constitutional barriers when he donated $2 million of public land to the Islamic Society of Boston for their Saudi-funded mega-mosque. But Roxbury is not quite as visible as Ground Zero.)

Prophecy 3: At the Victory Mosque's grand opening on 9/11/11, Bloomberg, Obama, all Democratic members of Congress, the cabinet, and half the Supreme Court all reverently file in and bow down in a pageant of multicultural splendor. Outside, a group of picketers from St. Nicholas Church protests the fact that their church was destroyed on 9/11 and bureaucratic barricades still keep them from rebuilding ten years in. The picketers are tear-gassed and clubbed away from the site, and the next morning, The New York Times blasts them for their insensitivity to the peace-loving Muslim community.

Prophecy 4: Like the Islamic Society of Boston Cultural Center, the new Victory Mosque quickly spins out headlines about violent plots and jihad-drenched rhetoric emanating from its associates. Meanwhile, the long-promised civil trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed begins in downtown Manhattan, a few blocks away. Thousands of Muslims converge on lower Manhattan, praying five times a day at the Victory Mosque, then surging to the courthouse to scream threats about justice for Khalid. The streets of downtown New York are a madhouse.

Prophecy 5: Over time, as more Muslims decide to live next to the Victory Mosque, Lower Manhattan becomes a no-go zone, like certain areas in France and Sweden. Wall Street firms are the first to flee to Connecticut, New Jersey, and finally, Switzerland, taking with them thousands of New York's most productive citizens. The already damaged fiscal base of New York City collapses. As the years go by, demographic pressures create a civic death spiral, just like in Antwerp or Rotterdam. Finally, the city's new mayor, Hussein bin Mohamed, comes up with a perfect solution: the mother of all bailouts. It seems Saudi Arabia has generously agreed to save New York. All they ask is the women agree to a slight adjustment in their style of dress.

Now who's going to tell me I'm wrong?

Stella Paul blogs at StellaPundit.
Pity the poor New York politician. Take Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who was merrily reigning over New York, banning bake sales in public schools because he doesn't trust parents to monitor their children's cupcake ingestion. Now, all of a sudden, just because he trusts a sharia-spouting imam with mysterious Mideast millions to preach peace and love at Ground Zero, the whole country is mad at him. Why, he can practically feel his plan to sweep to the presidency on a "Make Mosques, Not Cupcakes" platform crumbling before his eyes.

And spare a tear for forlorn Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer. A bland hedgehog of a man, he glowed with confidence that all he had to do was call his fellow New Yorkers "outright haters and bigots" for opposing a Ground Zero Victory Mosque and they would clasp him to their hearts and crown him mayor. Now he's stuttering that he didn't know...didn't think...while waking up in a cold sweat at 3 A.M., realizing that every red-blooded American with a dollar will send it to whoever runs against him.

As the Victory Mosque for the Nineteen Martyrs debacle explodes across the headlines, New York's courageous politicians are running for cover, crying for mommy. Even ardent endorsements by Hamas and President Obama haven't helped.

Because it is an immutable law of nature that no New York politician will ever stand for any principle higher than his survival, the Great Do-Over must now be underway. How can these worthies save their darling little hides? What can they do to get that dang thing out of the headlines and lull everybody back to sleep once more? And what will happen when they do?

Well, dear reader, fortunately for you, Stella knows all. Join me now as we peer into Stella Paul's Crazy Crystal Ball.

Prophecy 1: Very soon, Imam Rauf will take time from his busy schedule of fundraising in the Middle East on the U.S. taxpayers' dime and meeting with genocidal Iranians to make the following announcement: 

"My fellow Americans, all I want for our mosque is to bring peace and understanding. Unfortunately, un-American bigots are now twisting the beauty of Islam to attack us, and their intolerance is placing every Muslim in danger. My own family has received death threats, and my face, which seeks only to turn with love to Allah and the Statue of Liberty, has been showered with spit from New Yorkers more hate-filled than Nazis.

"Therefore, because of the great danger to peace-loving Muslims and my Daisy, I am agreeing to move the mosque a few blocks away. This whole tragedy for Muslim-Americans began when Mayor Bloomberg and many Jewish leaders told us that New Yorkers would welcome a mosque at Ground Zero with open arms. Because we Muslims are trusting and have only friendship in our hearts, we fell into their Zionist trap." [Editor's note: a day after publication, the Ground Zero Mosque fiasco is being blamed on Zionists by Muslim spokesmen. 8/19/10 8:17 AM PDT]

Prophecy 2: Delirious with gratitude to Imam Rauf for agreeing to move the mosque, Mayor Bloomberg announces the city will donate a magnificent site. After a brief hubbub about separation of church and state, a red-faced Bloomberg withdraws his proposal but offers to buy the site with his own money. When Imam Rauf sulks about the city's betrayal, Mayor Bloomberg frantically agrees to pay for the entire mosque: $100 million for the biggest, best, most beautiful mega-mosque in North America! It's all on him!

(As you may remember, Mayor Thomas Menino of Boston giggled through constitutional barriers when he donated $2 million of public land to the Islamic Society of Boston for their Saudi-funded mega-mosque. But Roxbury is not quite as visible as Ground Zero.)

Prophecy 3: At the Victory Mosque's grand opening on 9/11/11, Bloomberg, Obama, all Democratic members of Congress, the cabinet, and half the Supreme Court all reverently file in and bow down in a pageant of multicultural splendor. Outside, a group of picketers from St. Nicholas Church protests the fact that their church was destroyed on 9/11 and bureaucratic barricades still keep them from rebuilding ten years in. The picketers are tear-gassed and clubbed away from the site, and the next morning, The New York Times blasts them for their insensitivity to the peace-loving Muslim community.

Prophecy 4: Like the Islamic Society of Boston Cultural Center, the new Victory Mosque quickly spins out headlines about violent plots and jihad-drenched rhetoric emanating from its associates. Meanwhile, the long-promised civil trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed begins in downtown Manhattan, a few blocks away. Thousands of Muslims converge on lower Manhattan, praying five times a day at the Victory Mosque, then surging to the courthouse to scream threats about justice for Khalid. The streets of downtown New York are a madhouse.

Prophecy 5: Over time, as more Muslims decide to live next to the Victory Mosque, Lower Manhattan becomes a no-go zone, like certain areas in France and Sweden. Wall Street firms are the first to flee to Connecticut, New Jersey, and finally, Switzerland, taking with them thousands of New York's most productive citizens. The already damaged fiscal base of New York City collapses. As the years go by, demographic pressures create a civic death spiral, just like in Antwerp or Rotterdam. Finally, the city's new mayor, Hussein bin Mohamed, comes up with a perfect solution: the mother of all bailouts. It seems Saudi Arabia has generously agreed to save New York. All they ask is the women agree to a slight adjustment in their style of dress.

Now who's going to tell me I'm wrong?

Stella Paul blogs at StellaPundit.

RECENT VIDEOS