Clarice's Pieces: Independence Day

While many of us are focusing on the reports of Al Gore liberating his chakras with a masseuse in Portland, more serious members of our online community are fascinated with the notion of liberating our carbons. I expect that if you are not a regular reader of the New York Times, you are puzzled by the reference. Andrew Revkin, that paper's climate guru, kindly shared with his readers his song on the subject:

It took a thousand generations for our species to rise. But gathering and hunting was no way to get by. We yearned to sticks. Then someone [1] came along and said, "Hey, try lighting this." He opened up the ground and oil. He said, "Come liberate some carbon. It'll make your blood boil."

Liberated carbon, it'll spin your wheels. Liberated carbon it'll nuke your meals. Liberated carbon, it'll turn your night to day. Come on and liberate some carbon, babe,  it's the American way.

Now I got peat swamp fossils running my TV. BP's black label burns in my S.U.V.
 We can light up the planet like a Christmas tree.
They say that things are getting hot but, hey, we've got A.C.

Liberated carbon, it'll spin your wheels. Liberated carbon it'll nuke your meals. Liberated carbon, it'll turn your night to day.
Come on and liberate some carbon, babe, it's the American way.

Pump those electrons and that gasoline. No sweat or hurry, just turn on a machine. We sent an army to the desert to keep this country free, And to liberate some carbon, baby, for you and me...

Liberated carbon it'll spin your wheels. Liberated carbon, it'll nuke your meals. Liberated carbon, it'll turn your night to day. Come on and liberate some carbon, babe, it's the American way.

Apparently, Revkin keeps his carbon bottled up somewhere in Manhattan in a secret place known only to him and his folk singing partner, Pete Seeger, who proves his carbon cred by wearing mom jeans and a goofy hat as he does his imitation of a demented proletarian farmhand.

**** 

There's a lot of carbon being liberated in the Gulf of Mexico, and my friend bgates has created a quiz to test how much you understand about this liberated carbon tsunami, among other puzzling phenomena:

1. Who has done more to clean up spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico?
A) The scientific team assembled by Steven Chu, one of two Nobel laureates in the most brilliant Cabinet in American history
B) Kevin Costner, writer/director of The Postman

2. Who has done more for America's war effort?
A) The Democratic establishment, as led by foreign policy elder statesman Joe Biden
B) Rolling Stone magazine

3. As President, Barack Obama refrains from seeking swift retribution for criticism of his government's policies if it comes from:
A) The governor of an American state
B) A Republican Congressman
C) A member of the American press corps
D) One of his own supporters in the American military
E) The President of Mexico, Iran, or Venezuela

4. Who responded to a humanitarian emergency on the Gulf Coast by donating millions of dollars from his personal fortune?
A)The internationally beloved President Barack Obama, Nobel Peace Prize laureate
B) Subhuman monster Dick Cheney

5. Match the President with the number of rounds of golf they played in office: 
A) Bush 39, Obama 24
B) Bush 24, Obama 39

6. What was widely considered the most unethical act by a contender in the 2008 presidential election? 

A) Barack Obama's repeated lies about his close working relationship with the admitted terrorist who helped him write an autobiography
B) Barack Obama's acceptance of assistance from a close professional associate (since convicted of several federal crimes involving appointments of cronies to state government positions) in the purchase of his house
C) Barack Obama's negotiations with a state government official (now on trial for several federal crimes) to get a crony appointed to a government position
D) Barack Obama's endorsement of the mayor of Detroit (who has since pled guilty to two felony charges and pled no contest to one count of felony assault against a police officer, in addition to indictment on nineteen counts of felonies in the federal system)
E) Barack Obama's flouting of federal election law to the point of accepting a $2,300 donation literally given in the name of Mickey Mouse
F) Sarah Palin's description of a fund established to defray her legal expenses as "official" rather than "personally approved"

7. When the President talks about "whose ass to kick" and members of his administration use terms like "boot to the throat," they are referring to
A) Foreign nations which have engaged in multi-year efforts to undermine and overthrow American-allied governments, including the deliberate murder of hundreds of American military and civilian personnel
B) A multinational corporation which through arguably criminal negligence allowed an accident which killed several people

8. What did Barack Obama consider "an important step toward re-establishing our credibility as a nation committed to the rule of law"?
A) Placing the rights of senior creditors as established in hundreds of years of precedent in American civil and common law above the interests of his political allies who were junior creditors in a bankruptcy case
B) Enforcing the shockingly low ceiling on oil company liability set by statute, despite the political payoff he would get by demagoguery in the aftermath of a disaster
C) Setting up a civilian trial for a foreigner who has already confessed to war crimes against the United States during a trial conducted by the US military under the authority of a Congressional statute which the Supreme Court upheld as Constitutional 

****

More than carbon and chakra liberations were in the news this week.

Uterus envy was still in evidence at the Atlantic.

Andrew Sullivan, the magazine's ob/gyn manqué, is still obsessing over Sarah Palin's womb

When a colleague, Conor Friedersdorf, tried to dissuade him from continuing to pursue this bizarre obsession, Andrew got even crazier.

I'm old enough to remember when the Atlantic would have spared its readers this insanity.

****

Dave Weigel, the Washington Post's reporter on conservatives, was forced to resign when his disparaging remarks about those he was assigned to cover, made on the JournoList of four hundred bloggers and newsmen, were leaked. There was quite a to-do about whether this breached the confidentiality of this group whose existence was to coordinate the left's message in the media, and the list was reportedly disbanded. Keith Olbermann offered Weigel a commentator position on his show, which apparently still exists despite an audience made up of only Keith's mom and his TiVo.

Andrew Breitbart believes this lefty-coordinated media cabal deserves further exposure and has offered $100,000 for the JournoList archives; and if anyone responds, you can bet Weigel won't be the only one running for cover.

The great Iowahawk had his own take on the matter. 

Andrew Sullivan stepped out of his lab coat long enough to step into that brouhaha as well -- huffing about privacy rights -- for  which  he was deservedly kayoed by Breitbart as an indefensible hypocrite:

I needn't be lectured by a so-called "conservative" who has aided and abetted in this perversion of the American political experiment. Sullivan's disgusting; ends-justify-the-means obsession with the personal family life of Sarah Palin breached every ethical and journalistic boundary known to the cosmos. Between airing Palin's hacked private emails and making a cottage industry out of challenging the maternity of her son, Trig, sometimes the word "irony" or "hypocrisy" is not descriptive enough.

To highlight the absurdity of Sullivan's outrage, perhaps his submission entitled "The Palin Emails" can grant you insight into a demented mind. Before divulging them in at least five separate posts, he wrote: "They've leaked, of course. And they're not pretty."

And they weren't meant to be public either, Andy.

To think I was once his biggest advocate, but now he's an incomprehensible 'marm. In the transparent world of conservative journalism, conservatives admit their biases; in the world in which Sullivan now curries favor, he sidles up to the ends-justify-the-means left that exposed his sexual tastes in order to put him in his place.

Not all the sex talk was about Palin. Kathleen Parker got into the act with a preposterous, though unoriginal, thought about Obama. Writing for the Washington Post, Parker opined that Obama is our first woman president

Tom Maguire takes issue with the evidence she puts forward to support her view but observes there is an interesting consequence if she's right: "[T]his is ludicrously slim servings.  And do let's find the bright side -- Hillary can run in 2012 on a promise to put a man back in the White House."

Obama as our first woman president is not original to Ms Parker; it seems to be a theme in the Washington/Newsweek family. Two years ago, notes my friend Hit & Run, Newsweek called Obama the first woman candidate for President. 

Kathleen Parker, June 30, 2010: If Bill Clinton was our first black president, as Toni Morrison once proclaimed, then Barack Obama may be our first woman president.

Newsweek, February 26, 2008: Obama is a female candidate for president in the same way that Bill Clinton was the first black president. It was Toni Morrison who first had the insight.

Personally, I think Obama's not a woman, though as Sullivan has correctly observed, Palin is. If Parker wants to persuade me otherwise, she'll have to provide Obama's birth certificate.

Happy Independence Day!
While many of us are focusing on the reports of Al Gore liberating his chakras with a masseuse in Portland, more serious members of our online community are fascinated with the notion of liberating our carbons. I expect that if you are not a regular reader of the New York Times, you are puzzled by the reference. Andrew Revkin, that paper's climate guru, kindly shared with his readers his song on the subject:

It took a thousand generations for our species to rise. But gathering and hunting was no way to get by. We yearned to sticks. Then someone [1] came along and said, "Hey, try lighting this." He opened up the ground and oil. He said, "Come liberate some carbon. It'll make your blood boil."

Liberated carbon, it'll spin your wheels. Liberated carbon it'll nuke your meals. Liberated carbon, it'll turn your night to day. Come on and liberate some carbon, babe,  it's the American way.

Now I got peat swamp fossils running my TV. BP's black label burns in my S.U.V.
 We can light up the planet like a Christmas tree.
They say that things are getting hot but, hey, we've got A.C.

Liberated carbon, it'll spin your wheels. Liberated carbon it'll nuke your meals. Liberated carbon, it'll turn your night to day.
Come on and liberate some carbon, babe, it's the American way.

Pump those electrons and that gasoline. No sweat or hurry, just turn on a machine. We sent an army to the desert to keep this country free, And to liberate some carbon, baby, for you and me...

Liberated carbon it'll spin your wheels. Liberated carbon, it'll nuke your meals. Liberated carbon, it'll turn your night to day. Come on and liberate some carbon, babe, it's the American way.

Apparently, Revkin keeps his carbon bottled up somewhere in Manhattan in a secret place known only to him and his folk singing partner, Pete Seeger, who proves his carbon cred by wearing mom jeans and a goofy hat as he does his imitation of a demented proletarian farmhand.

**** 

There's a lot of carbon being liberated in the Gulf of Mexico, and my friend bgates has created a quiz to test how much you understand about this liberated carbon tsunami, among other puzzling phenomena:

1. Who has done more to clean up spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico?
A) The scientific team assembled by Steven Chu, one of two Nobel laureates in the most brilliant Cabinet in American history
B) Kevin Costner, writer/director of The Postman

2. Who has done more for America's war effort?
A) The Democratic establishment, as led by foreign policy elder statesman Joe Biden
B) Rolling Stone magazine

3. As President, Barack Obama refrains from seeking swift retribution for criticism of his government's policies if it comes from:
A) The governor of an American state
B) A Republican Congressman
C) A member of the American press corps
D) One of his own supporters in the American military
E) The President of Mexico, Iran, or Venezuela

4. Who responded to a humanitarian emergency on the Gulf Coast by donating millions of dollars from his personal fortune?
A)The internationally beloved President Barack Obama, Nobel Peace Prize laureate
B) Subhuman monster Dick Cheney

5. Match the President with the number of rounds of golf they played in office: 
A) Bush 39, Obama 24
B) Bush 24, Obama 39

6. What was widely considered the most unethical act by a contender in the 2008 presidential election? 

A) Barack Obama's repeated lies about his close working relationship with the admitted terrorist who helped him write an autobiography
B) Barack Obama's acceptance of assistance from a close professional associate (since convicted of several federal crimes involving appointments of cronies to state government positions) in the purchase of his house
C) Barack Obama's negotiations with a state government official (now on trial for several federal crimes) to get a crony appointed to a government position
D) Barack Obama's endorsement of the mayor of Detroit (who has since pled guilty to two felony charges and pled no contest to one count of felony assault against a police officer, in addition to indictment on nineteen counts of felonies in the federal system)
E) Barack Obama's flouting of federal election law to the point of accepting a $2,300 donation literally given in the name of Mickey Mouse
F) Sarah Palin's description of a fund established to defray her legal expenses as "official" rather than "personally approved"

7. When the President talks about "whose ass to kick" and members of his administration use terms like "boot to the throat," they are referring to
A) Foreign nations which have engaged in multi-year efforts to undermine and overthrow American-allied governments, including the deliberate murder of hundreds of American military and civilian personnel
B) A multinational corporation which through arguably criminal negligence allowed an accident which killed several people

8. What did Barack Obama consider "an important step toward re-establishing our credibility as a nation committed to the rule of law"?
A) Placing the rights of senior creditors as established in hundreds of years of precedent in American civil and common law above the interests of his political allies who were junior creditors in a bankruptcy case
B) Enforcing the shockingly low ceiling on oil company liability set by statute, despite the political payoff he would get by demagoguery in the aftermath of a disaster
C) Setting up a civilian trial for a foreigner who has already confessed to war crimes against the United States during a trial conducted by the US military under the authority of a Congressional statute which the Supreme Court upheld as Constitutional 

****

More than carbon and chakra liberations were in the news this week.

Uterus envy was still in evidence at the Atlantic.

Andrew Sullivan, the magazine's ob/gyn manqué, is still obsessing over Sarah Palin's womb

When a colleague, Conor Friedersdorf, tried to dissuade him from continuing to pursue this bizarre obsession, Andrew got even crazier.

I'm old enough to remember when the Atlantic would have spared its readers this insanity.

****

Dave Weigel, the Washington Post's reporter on conservatives, was forced to resign when his disparaging remarks about those he was assigned to cover, made on the JournoList of four hundred bloggers and newsmen, were leaked. There was quite a to-do about whether this breached the confidentiality of this group whose existence was to coordinate the left's message in the media, and the list was reportedly disbanded. Keith Olbermann offered Weigel a commentator position on his show, which apparently still exists despite an audience made up of only Keith's mom and his TiVo.

Andrew Breitbart believes this lefty-coordinated media cabal deserves further exposure and has offered $100,000 for the JournoList archives; and if anyone responds, you can bet Weigel won't be the only one running for cover.

The great Iowahawk had his own take on the matter. 

Andrew Sullivan stepped out of his lab coat long enough to step into that brouhaha as well -- huffing about privacy rights -- for  which  he was deservedly kayoed by Breitbart as an indefensible hypocrite:

I needn't be lectured by a so-called "conservative" who has aided and abetted in this perversion of the American political experiment. Sullivan's disgusting; ends-justify-the-means obsession with the personal family life of Sarah Palin breached every ethical and journalistic boundary known to the cosmos. Between airing Palin's hacked private emails and making a cottage industry out of challenging the maternity of her son, Trig, sometimes the word "irony" or "hypocrisy" is not descriptive enough.

To highlight the absurdity of Sullivan's outrage, perhaps his submission entitled "The Palin Emails" can grant you insight into a demented mind. Before divulging them in at least five separate posts, he wrote: "They've leaked, of course. And they're not pretty."

And they weren't meant to be public either, Andy.

To think I was once his biggest advocate, but now he's an incomprehensible 'marm. In the transparent world of conservative journalism, conservatives admit their biases; in the world in which Sullivan now curries favor, he sidles up to the ends-justify-the-means left that exposed his sexual tastes in order to put him in his place.

Not all the sex talk was about Palin. Kathleen Parker got into the act with a preposterous, though unoriginal, thought about Obama. Writing for the Washington Post, Parker opined that Obama is our first woman president

Tom Maguire takes issue with the evidence she puts forward to support her view but observes there is an interesting consequence if she's right: "[T]his is ludicrously slim servings.  And do let's find the bright side -- Hillary can run in 2012 on a promise to put a man back in the White House."

Obama as our first woman president is not original to Ms Parker; it seems to be a theme in the Washington/Newsweek family. Two years ago, notes my friend Hit & Run, Newsweek called Obama the first woman candidate for President. 

Kathleen Parker, June 30, 2010: If Bill Clinton was our first black president, as Toni Morrison once proclaimed, then Barack Obama may be our first woman president.

Newsweek, February 26, 2008: Obama is a female candidate for president in the same way that Bill Clinton was the first black president. It was Toni Morrison who first had the insight.

Personally, I think Obama's not a woman, though as Sullivan has correctly observed, Palin is. If Parker wants to persuade me otherwise, she'll have to provide Obama's birth certificate.

Happy Independence Day!