July 4, 2010
A Clinton Entendre EulogyBy Jeannie DeAngelis
America should hand it to Bill Clinton. The man is the master of manipulation, an oratorical genius. Clinton can use words to turn the argument around like no one else on the planet. Ex-President Clinton is able to parse language in such a way that after he is done playing with your head, even the meaning of the word "is" becomes debatable. Bill Clinton is so good that a whole generation of people actually believe sex isn't sex.
Moreover, in the midst of playing lexicon Twister, Clinton somehow always includes in everything he says self-aggrandizing subliminal messages that relate to how people should view the extremely put-upon and misconstrued Bill Clinton.
At Senator Byrd's funeral, Clinton met the challenge with courage and ventured forth where no eulogizer dared go. Bill "humanized" Byrd by brazenly bringing up what every person was thinking, but no one had the chutzpah to broach.
In the bright morning sun, Clinton strode first to the podium and then drew Byrd's mourners into the woods of West Virginia to talk about the scary white guys in big pointy hoods and long robes who burn crosses at family barbeques.
That's right -- while everyone else was tearfully avoiding Robert Byrd's association with a racist lynch mob, Clinton lauded the deceased senator by way of mentioning his "brief" involvement with the Ku Klux Klan and actually found a way to portray Byrd's Klansmanship as an example of moral fiber.
Clinton justified Byrd's involvement in the Knights Party, USA as a logical stepping-stone to elected office. Then the perpetually self-absorbed Clinton used the event to align himself with the 92-year-old senator's fleshly struggle. Bill related from personal experience the deep concepts of repentance, redemption, and the imperfection of man.
According to Clinton, if a person is trying to get elected by beating up innocent black people, that should not disqualify him from the job even if it includes joining a white supremacist group known to kill people based on the color of their skin, religion, or sexual orientation.
America's original Man from Hope, speaking on behalf of the late Senator Byrd, said the following: "He once had a fleeting association with the Ku Klux Klan, what does that mean? I'll tell you what it means. He was a country boy from the hills and hollows from West Virginia. He was trying to get elected."
The former president's statement can only mean that if you aspire to political office, all bets are off, and if serving the public is the ultimate goal, then the "end justifies the means." After the "trying to get elected" comment, was Bill squinting because the sun was stinging his blue eyes or was he scanning the mourners' faces to find Hillary?
Once again, Bill exercised the fine art of talking about one thing while actually referring to himself, which henceforth and in perpetuity should officially be called a "Clinton entendre." Disgraced politician Bill Clinton felt no shame dragging a dead guy to the plinth to use as a prop to garner sympathy for his poor, often misunderstood self.
America's very own empathetic bottom-lip-biter, supposedly referring to Senator Robert Byrd, said,
Thus, when recapping Bill Clinton's touching eulogy for "Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV)," the following points would be the highlights:
If you hail from a small town and aspire to high political office, it's perfectly acceptable to lynch black people if it ensures getting you elected.
People do things they shouldn't do -- such as having "fleeting" perverted sex in the Oval Office with interns and then denying it, followed by contorting the English language like Houdini hanging upside down attempting to escape from a straitjacket, topped off by perjury, impeachment, and spending two decades masquerading as a statesman, i.e. not "making up for it," but rather "making it up."
Just because an individual once led the local chapter of a group that calls for the extermination of "dark-skinned people, Jews, Catholics and gays," or because you're a lecherous sex fiend who disgraces the office of the president, it doesn't mean you're not a "good person."
And, if anybody out there dares judge a president with a sex addiction or an ex-Ku Klux Klanner who just wanted to serve the public by running for office, Bill Clinton defies all accusers: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone."
Bill's clarifying but confrontational words challenged those critical of the late Robert Byrd for aligning with a faction that, if given the chance, would string up the guy sitting next to Joe Biden on the dais who, as the first black president, is overseeing the lynching of America.
Former President Bill Clinton's acclamations for Senator Robert Byrd served as a reminder that even good men have been known to utilize a burning cross to light a Gurkha cigar or two, because in America, "[t]here are certainly no perfect politicians."
Author's content: www.jeannie-ology.com