March 17, 2010
Bill Maher to God: Stand Aside for ObamaCareBy Stuart Schwartz
The way Bill Maher sees it, resistance to ObamaCare is all God's fault. Why? Because so many people believe in this "schmuck" who lives in the clouds...and this belief, in turn, intensifies opposition to ObamaCare.
This leftist social critic, anti-Christian crusader, and HBO comedy show host warned God at the end of last week to back off, to allow smart people like himself and Barack Obama and the New York Times editorial board to push the God-fearing "ignoramuses" aside this week and take control of the nation's health care.
He told this to "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" guest host Lawrence O'Donnell on MS-NBC. Although mainstream media didn't provide us with God's reaction (God is a hopeless conservative, persona non grata for legacy networks and newspapers), Maher most certainly cheered the three viewers in the audience of the NBC news cable operation, who had taken time off from pecking out obscenities on the Daily Kos website to get a dose of leftist smarts.
Welcome to the world of Bill Maher. He urges the "vicious, horrible character" known as God, who is less real than the "lint that lives in my navel," to stand aside while Obama and Pelosi and Reid "scare the American people" into ObamaCare. Maher added his voice to the progressive chorus urging the president to "go gangsta" on the majority of Americans, who, as our president put it, still cling to God and guns.
Enough about human dignity and "inherent" God-given rights! What business does a Christian, a "Wal-Mart shopper who resurfaces driveways with [his] brother-in-law," have questioning a Harvard-trained president who, assisted by our media and political elites, has put together a cradle-to-grave health care system? Rights?! To people who have that "neurological disorder" known as religion, whose belief in God "stops [them] from thinking"?
For Maher, God is behind the mass stupidity of the American people. Or rather, it's belief in God, a fairy tale that refuses to go away. Obamacare, in which educated atheists make decisions for the God-fearing masses, Maher says, will be the biggest step our elites can take to fix the stupidity emanating from religious America.
God is the reason why these "idiots" dare defy Barack Obama, the Democrats, and the media and entertainment elite. Were it not for belief, these Christians and Jews and plumbers and waitresses, each an individual who "disgusts me," would stay out of the health care debate, leaving it to their evolved betters.
Evolution confers rights. Progressive brilliance derives from evolutionary superiority, not a fairy tale that produces "babbling, barely house-broken, uneducated being[s]," Maher says. He includes in the latter Sarah Palin, Fox News hosts, and the huge swaths of Wal-Mart shoppers between Washington, D.C. and Beverly Hills. Stupidity is a gift from the "sky god."
And that's why this week will be a giant step for the natural order of humanity, when our president (who "can't help it if he's a magna cum laude Harvard grad" whom you don't like "because he's smarter than you") and his elite advisers assume control. ObamaCare is the beginning of the end for God and women like Sarah Palin, who, Maher says, sharpens her analytical skills "by talking to her Down syndrome son."
Women, "retards," dogs and cats -- same difference, Maher says. All are in need of direction from their betters. And we're going to give it to them, he tells cheering audiences at universities across the nation, because -- as an official "Ivy League Celebrity" -- we know best.
Not that Maher has anything against women. No, he loves women, especially when they meet the business end of his fist...or a hammer to the head wielded by his fist, as one account of Maher displaying loving, atheistic fondness for a girlfriend puts it. Bruises administered by the Time (magazine)-stamped "high-minded" culture critic appear to be a constant of Maher's relationships with women, as a number have accused.
Hey, what's a bit of abuse among friends? Just trying to get these women to understand their proper place, knock a bit of that culture-generated Christian nonsense out of them. After all, Darwin evolved woman to be naked and in bed, or, as a former girlfriend complained to the New York Post, behaving as "a Muslim woman with my head wrapped, walking 10 paces behind my man."
And that's why Maher has no problem with sharia law coming to the United States. Anything but our Judeo-Christian "arrogance parading as humility." At least Islamic nations are smart enough to understand that the few should lead the many...and that even women in a burkas have what it takes to fulfill their functions, as attested by "the word 'Juicy' on their ass!"
This is true enlightenment, Maher tells cheering audiences. This is the intelligence, the attitudes, the values that will save the United States from a God who is just something that the Brothers Grimm came up with, a Judeo-Christian God who insists in the "crock" known as the Bible that men and women have equivalent dignity and rights.
Equal!? Equal!!! Leave it to our mass fantasy, the Christian Jack-and-the-Beanstalk, to not understand that women exist "for the pleasure of men" and that breasts evolved so that we can have "real men hanging off them."
And so Maher cheers on ObamaCare, a giant step toward government of the enlightened. We're going to see progress this week, he says -- the kind of progress that only an educated and godless elite can bring.
Godless -- that's the key, he emphasizes. God is small-town diners, churches, and parades. But godless-America atheism is Ivy League and Manhattan and Washington, Beverly Hills and Boston, where dignity comes -- as it should -- from brains, position, and government.
ObamaCare America is Maher's America, he says, where every woman is guaranteed treatment...after he takes a hammer to her head.
Stuart H. Schwartz is on the faculty at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia.