March 1, 2009
Obama's WarBy Big Fur Hat
Shouting "Downing Street Memo" in a crowded Upper West Side New York theater just might be as prosecutable an offense as falsely shouting fire at any other crowded venue, considering the mayhem those simple words could potentially induce. But watching popcorn and twizzlers fly in the air, propelled by liberal apoplectic seizure, might be enough of a trade off for the risk of the jail time.
This dubious memo, for the left, was an early contrivance for undermining Bush's presidency. It was, they dreamed, the smoking gun needed to prove that Bushco orchestrated the invasion of Iraq well in advance of his election in 2000. Somewhere, in an environmentally unfriendly underground bunker in Crawford, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz , Rove and Beelzebub sat naked around a carved wooden owl and "pinky swore" world domination. There was also blood, urine and a 1000 year-old interpretive dance involved, but the very specific details are murky and debatable.
Depending on your level of paranoia, and/or cynicism, 911 was either orchestrated by this sinister coterie or it was exploited. Either way, when viewed through the "only for show" spectacles of a progressive, it's sorta easy to see that taking over the world always starts and ends with Iraq. If only Bush had another few months he could have carried through on his plot, a plot so convoluted Oliver Stone asked for clarification. Heck, if only the evil dictator was allowed to dictate for maybe another year he could of made something of this country - perhaps maybe even a super-power even, if not a world dominator.
Add a pinch of stolen election, a dash of Bilderberg Group and fold in a little Yellow Cake and remarkably this conspiratorial mélange produces a tasty kool-aid.
But try and get any Obamatrons to see any ironic parallels between the indictments they've ascribed to the loathsome Bush and their winsome Obama; I dare you. It would be easier to convince them that the Rosenbergs were guilty. Perhaps between the showers of spittle that they will eject, like a sports arena tee shirt canon, you can needle them with these notions, you know, just for kicks:
We've heard it ad nauseam. Bushco either manufactured or overstated a terror crisis to quickly implement a war plan in waiting. But Obamaco did the same. Their bogeyman was the economy. Histrionically, Obama shrieked that the current weak economy was threatening to end America as we know it. Exploiting the very climate of fear that he himself stoked, and arguably, his own party caused, he waged war on what he believed was a longtime gathering threat: capitalist America. And just what is his solution for saving America as we know it? It seems to be destroying America as we know it. (Which was Obama's war plan all along.)
The first drafts of these plans were likely drawn during his late night indoctrinations at the feet of Frank Marshall. They were probably finalized years later in Obama's Chicago home, with similar communists and socialists in attendance, as they sat around a carved wooden Che and "pinky swore" world fairness. This all happened before he decided to make a bid for the presidency. And as we know, evidenced by Bush's treatment, having a war plan in advance of a war is a war crime. So I am booking Obama's flight to the Hague tomorrow, and with any luck at all he will need a birth certificate to get into the Netherlands.
With the assistance of a like-minded Congress Obama has appropriated trillions to fund his war. Inexplicably, the press has dutifully agreed to call this war chest a stimulus package. Half of America opposed the passing of this "stimulus" and only 3 republicans voted for the bill. 75% of American's approved of the invasion of Iraq in 2003, and more than half the democratic senate voted aye, yet Bush is characterized as the cowboy that boorishly went in alone.
Despite the media's best efforts to sour public opinion on Iraq with the unrelenting reporting of bad news and maimed soldiers, Bush still managed to conduct his war with an all-volunteer army. A man smarter than your average liberal, Yogi Berra, once said, "few volunteers are forced into doing things." The same cannot be said of Obama's war. 47% of Americans didn't vote to serve Obama and his attack on capitalism, even with the media only shining the light of goodness on the aspiring commandeEr-in-Chief. And with only Moe, Larry, and Curly voting aye on the Republican side of the aisle, Obama has failed to build an adequate coalition for his war and is pretty much pig-headedly waging it unilaterally.
Bush's war did have a body count, as I believe all wars (and a Kennedy cocktail party) do. But when you think of the fallen who have given their lives to protect this Republic, and in large part preserve the economic system with which it was built on, Obama's war can perhaps be the most audacious one of all. Obama evokes the image of our yet-to-be-born children in a lachrymose attempt to justify his draconian plan, all the while desecrating hallowed ground with his unthinkable scheme to adopt the principles America has long fought against. I'm not so sure I would be so quick to prematurely call the economic system of the United States a total failure, in need of whirlwind replacement, living so close to Arlington National Cemetery. Hasn't Obama seen the movie Carrie?
No comparison with Bush would be complete unless it included the old chestnut, Bush Lied. I would submit that this mantra implies a singular lie, not bad for an American president. One month into Obama's reign and my protest placard already reads, Obama "LIES."
2. No Lobbyists.
3. We are going to pay as we go. (This was a lie as he was saying it. The man just spent a bazillion dollars of money that America does not have.)
4. Joe Biden is smart.
The list goes on.
One last question:
At what point will this war on capitalism be called a quagmire and when will Obama pull out?
Big Fur Hat publishes iOwnTheWorld.