Get to Work, Big Man

We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and break the law. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side first. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition."
So said Michael Moore  a few days following the 2006 congressional elections with his usual disingenuousness veiled thinly as solemn concern for the republic.

Perhaps that is too harsh. Let us take him at his word. Accordingly, it's time for Mr. Moore to unleash his genius and catch the next Gulfstream out to the heartland. There is a wealth of material from which to choose "on our side."

Mr. Moore has a big, fat target for Act I of a new documentary, that of comedian Al Franken. Mr. Moore would do well hit the beach in St. Paul and get to the bottom of exactly how entrenched ACORN is in Minnesota, what impact their illegal voter registration drive has had on Mr. Franken's tally, and the influence the partisan secretary of state has had in the recounting process. Examine why Minnesota's canvassing procedures vary from county to county and get to the bottom of these various -- ahem -- piles of ballots lying around. After uncovering the wretched operation the DFLers are attempting to pull, put your cameras and microphones in Mr. Franken's face and ask him what is so humorous about stealing an election from the people of Minnesota.

Footage from the Land of Lakes in hand, get back in the air and head south to the land of Lincoln. First fly to Springfield and check to see if the Emancipator is indeed spinning in his grave before heading up to the pseudo capital, Chicago. Proceed to the Blagojevich household and attempt to get a bead on just how often he and his staff were in contact with Rahm and Barry's flying circus and if there were any other Cabinet positions in which Blago may have been interested in return for a friendly appointment. While you're at it, get some comments on film as to why the governor's hair looks as if it was frozen in time while in line for Bon Jovi tickets in 1987.

After enjoying some deep dish, set course for New Mexico and try to ascertain just what the heck is going on with Bill Richardson, and why it was that Teleprompter Jesus could not see that his would-be Secretary of Commerce is in the thick of ethical violations  involving the guy who donated $30,000 to the Obama campaign. Don't stand for the Beltway media trying to sell the public on this being a "bump" on the road to the coronation.

This is a lot to ask, granted, but hopefully Mr. Moore's patriotic concern for our nation's polity meshed with his investigative skills will motivate him to fly into the Federal city with renewed vigor and ire. It is difficult to know where to start there, but how about stalking Senate majority leader Harry Reid? Ask him in your inimitable style why he is literally standing in the doorway to deny a black man a seat in the United States Senate after having been appointed by the aforementioned governor of Illinois (who is innocent until proven guilty, right?). Ask Reid why he can't just "move on."

Oh, ask the distinguished gentleman from Nevada about his declaration that Norm Coleman will "never, ever serve" in the United States Senate again. It would be really entertaining if you framed your question in a manner such as "Given your track record on declaring the battle in Iraq ‘lost,' aren't you a little wary of prognostication, Senator?" Well, ha ha, that might be asking too much of you, Mike; who would be so presumptuous as to direct an award-winning director?

At any rate, Mr. Moore, we who were so dismayed by the results in 2006 and again this past November look forward to your latest cinematic tsunami as you continue to uncover corruption in government no matter where it festers. We trust that despite your fame and fortune, you are still the loveable muckraker from Flint, looking out for the masses. We are heartened in recalling your pledge and will have the popcorn ready.

Matthew May welcomes comments at matthewtmay@yahoo.com
We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and break the law. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side first. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition."
So said Michael Moore  a few days following the 2006 congressional elections with his usual disingenuousness veiled thinly as solemn concern for the republic.

Perhaps that is too harsh. Let us take him at his word. Accordingly, it's time for Mr. Moore to unleash his genius and catch the next Gulfstream out to the heartland. There is a wealth of material from which to choose "on our side."

Mr. Moore has a big, fat target for Act I of a new documentary, that of comedian Al Franken. Mr. Moore would do well hit the beach in St. Paul and get to the bottom of exactly how entrenched ACORN is in Minnesota, what impact their illegal voter registration drive has had on Mr. Franken's tally, and the influence the partisan secretary of state has had in the recounting process. Examine why Minnesota's canvassing procedures vary from county to county and get to the bottom of these various -- ahem -- piles of ballots lying around. After uncovering the wretched operation the DFLers are attempting to pull, put your cameras and microphones in Mr. Franken's face and ask him what is so humorous about stealing an election from the people of Minnesota.

Footage from the Land of Lakes in hand, get back in the air and head south to the land of Lincoln. First fly to Springfield and check to see if the Emancipator is indeed spinning in his grave before heading up to the pseudo capital, Chicago. Proceed to the Blagojevich household and attempt to get a bead on just how often he and his staff were in contact with Rahm and Barry's flying circus and if there were any other Cabinet positions in which Blago may have been interested in return for a friendly appointment. While you're at it, get some comments on film as to why the governor's hair looks as if it was frozen in time while in line for Bon Jovi tickets in 1987.

After enjoying some deep dish, set course for New Mexico and try to ascertain just what the heck is going on with Bill Richardson, and why it was that Teleprompter Jesus could not see that his would-be Secretary of Commerce is in the thick of ethical violations  involving the guy who donated $30,000 to the Obama campaign. Don't stand for the Beltway media trying to sell the public on this being a "bump" on the road to the coronation.

This is a lot to ask, granted, but hopefully Mr. Moore's patriotic concern for our nation's polity meshed with his investigative skills will motivate him to fly into the Federal city with renewed vigor and ire. It is difficult to know where to start there, but how about stalking Senate majority leader Harry Reid? Ask him in your inimitable style why he is literally standing in the doorway to deny a black man a seat in the United States Senate after having been appointed by the aforementioned governor of Illinois (who is innocent until proven guilty, right?). Ask Reid why he can't just "move on."

Oh, ask the distinguished gentleman from Nevada about his declaration that Norm Coleman will "never, ever serve" in the United States Senate again. It would be really entertaining if you framed your question in a manner such as "Given your track record on declaring the battle in Iraq ‘lost,' aren't you a little wary of prognostication, Senator?" Well, ha ha, that might be asking too much of you, Mike; who would be so presumptuous as to direct an award-winning director?

At any rate, Mr. Moore, we who were so dismayed by the results in 2006 and again this past November look forward to your latest cinematic tsunami as you continue to uncover corruption in government no matter where it festers. We trust that despite your fame and fortune, you are still the loveable muckraker from Flint, looking out for the masses. We are heartened in recalling your pledge and will have the popcorn ready.

Matthew May welcomes comments at matthewtmay@yahoo.com