Just so we're clear

When conservatives and others question the absence of any executive experience of Barack Obama and why it is that a man who has spent just over a hundred days as a United States Senator is so close to the presidency, we are to conclude those doubters are racists.

When media and Obama aides point out that Sarah Palin was a mayor of a town with a population below 10,000 and has only been a governor and commander-in-chief of the Alaskan National Guard for two years, we are to accept that she is not even close to being prepared to sit a heartbeat away from the presidency.

When the National Enquirer breaks a story about a former vice-presidential nominee and presidential candidate and, until just a few weeks ago, viable possibility for a Cabinet post - a man whose endorsement of Barack Obama literally stopped the presses and caused networks to break in to regular coverage - regarding an affair and love child, we are to ignore its sleazy, tabloid nature.

When the cover of a celebrity gossip rag owned by a monomaniacal Obama donor screams that Sarah Palin is engaging in some sort of bizarre cover-up about sex and pregnancies, it is to be taken with the utmost seriousness.

When John Kerry salutes the 2004 Democratic National Convention and declares that he is "reporting for duty," we are to fondly hark back to his selfless service to country and brave stand against the murderous implementers of the military-industrial complex. When the 2008 Democratic National Convention parades retired military figures supporting Obama, we are to be impressed with their considered judgment.

When during the 2008 Republican National Convention President George W. Bush speaks fondly of John McCain, and Fred Thompson delivers an introductory address on behalf of John McCain and invokes the latter's selfless service to country and brave stand against his barbaric captors, we are to nod in troubled agreement when Keith Olbermann describes  this critically as "militaristic"

When we learn that Sarah Palin chose to bring a baby with Down's Syndrome to term and that the governor's teenage daughter is pregnant and will bring that child to term and marry the boy who impregnated her, we are to cluck that this family's priorities are troubling. We are to say the governor is derelict in continuing to work and in not quietly and quickly hustling her daughter off to an abortion mill.

When we learn that one of the few times Barack Obama votes other than present he votes in favor of infanticide and refusing to recognize abortion survivors as persons, we are to laud him for fighting for "reproductive justice," and ignore the brutality of his position. We are to nod knowingly when he speaks of a baby as punishment for a mistake.

When John McCain becomes the presumptive nominee for the Republican Party, we are to make jokes about his age and point out that he has been in the Senate since the 1980s, a symbol of entrenched power in Washington.

When Joe Biden, who has been in the Senate since 1972, is announced as Barack Obama's running mate, we are to applaud Biden's so-called experience in foreign policy while ignoring the Obama campaign theme of "Change."

When we learn how Sarah Palin has truly fought corruption in government, we are to again scoff that it's just Alaska and there is nothing up there but Eskimos and moose.

When we learn that Barack Obama's political career was launched in the living room of unrepentant terrorists, that he has attained every political position he has gained through the cesspool that is the Daley Machine, patronized and drew inspiration from an anti-Semite, anti-white "pastor," we are to ignore it and channel all of our white guilt about being such horrible racists into membership in a messianic cult of personality.

When a journalist and scholar has to appeal to the public to open files regarding Barack Obama's experience with the Chicago Annenberg Project housed at a public university, we are to not only avert our eyes at the rest of the media's lack of outrage but we are to parrot talking points from the Obama campaign in attempt to harangue a radio station to force that journalist off the air.

When Jimmy Carter  calls Barack Obama a "black boy," we are to remember that Jimmy Carter is a humanitarian and peacemaker.

When Hillary Clinton was running for president, we were to applaud the immense progress of women in politics and cheer every crack she made in the glass ceiling.

When Sarah Palin is nominated to be the vice presidential nominee of the Republican Party, we are to suddenly transform into misogynists.

When members of the media are seen cheering Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention, we are to remember how inspiring a figure Obama truly is, and that he has the imprimatur of the Kennedy family and remember that everyone in America loves the princes of Hyannis Port.

When members of the media ask delegates to the Republican National Convention how anyone should take seriously Sarah Palin's experience when compared to Obama's, we are to applaud such hard-hitting, objective journalism.

When a citizen votes for John McCain in November he will be a racist.

When a citizen votes for Barack Obama in November he is tolerant and will not be at all a sexist or ageist.

Are you not glad we cleared that up?

Matthew May welcomes comments at matthewtmay@yahoo.com

When conservatives and others question the absence of any executive experience of Barack Obama and why it is that a man who has spent just over a hundred days as a United States Senator is so close to the presidency, we are to conclude those doubters are racists.

When media and Obama aides point out that Sarah Palin was a mayor of a town with a population below 10,000 and has only been a governor and commander-in-chief of the Alaskan National Guard for two years, we are to accept that she is not even close to being prepared to sit a heartbeat away from the presidency.

When the National Enquirer breaks a story about a former vice-presidential nominee and presidential candidate and, until just a few weeks ago, viable possibility for a Cabinet post - a man whose endorsement of Barack Obama literally stopped the presses and caused networks to break in to regular coverage - regarding an affair and love child, we are to ignore its sleazy, tabloid nature.

When the cover of a celebrity gossip rag owned by a monomaniacal Obama donor screams that Sarah Palin is engaging in some sort of bizarre cover-up about sex and pregnancies, it is to be taken with the utmost seriousness.

When John Kerry salutes the 2004 Democratic National Convention and declares that he is "reporting for duty," we are to fondly hark back to his selfless service to country and brave stand against the murderous implementers of the military-industrial complex. When the 2008 Democratic National Convention parades retired military figures supporting Obama, we are to be impressed with their considered judgment.

When during the 2008 Republican National Convention President George W. Bush speaks fondly of John McCain, and Fred Thompson delivers an introductory address on behalf of John McCain and invokes the latter's selfless service to country and brave stand against his barbaric captors, we are to nod in troubled agreement when Keith Olbermann describes  this critically as "militaristic"

When we learn that Sarah Palin chose to bring a baby with Down's Syndrome to term and that the governor's teenage daughter is pregnant and will bring that child to term and marry the boy who impregnated her, we are to cluck that this family's priorities are troubling. We are to say the governor is derelict in continuing to work and in not quietly and quickly hustling her daughter off to an abortion mill.

When we learn that one of the few times Barack Obama votes other than present he votes in favor of infanticide and refusing to recognize abortion survivors as persons, we are to laud him for fighting for "reproductive justice," and ignore the brutality of his position. We are to nod knowingly when he speaks of a baby as punishment for a mistake.

When John McCain becomes the presumptive nominee for the Republican Party, we are to make jokes about his age and point out that he has been in the Senate since the 1980s, a symbol of entrenched power in Washington.

When Joe Biden, who has been in the Senate since 1972, is announced as Barack Obama's running mate, we are to applaud Biden's so-called experience in foreign policy while ignoring the Obama campaign theme of "Change."

When we learn how Sarah Palin has truly fought corruption in government, we are to again scoff that it's just Alaska and there is nothing up there but Eskimos and moose.

When we learn that Barack Obama's political career was launched in the living room of unrepentant terrorists, that he has attained every political position he has gained through the cesspool that is the Daley Machine, patronized and drew inspiration from an anti-Semite, anti-white "pastor," we are to ignore it and channel all of our white guilt about being such horrible racists into membership in a messianic cult of personality.

When a journalist and scholar has to appeal to the public to open files regarding Barack Obama's experience with the Chicago Annenberg Project housed at a public university, we are to not only avert our eyes at the rest of the media's lack of outrage but we are to parrot talking points from the Obama campaign in attempt to harangue a radio station to force that journalist off the air.

When Jimmy Carter  calls Barack Obama a "black boy," we are to remember that Jimmy Carter is a humanitarian and peacemaker.

When Hillary Clinton was running for president, we were to applaud the immense progress of women in politics and cheer every crack she made in the glass ceiling.

When Sarah Palin is nominated to be the vice presidential nominee of the Republican Party, we are to suddenly transform into misogynists.

When members of the media are seen cheering Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention, we are to remember how inspiring a figure Obama truly is, and that he has the imprimatur of the Kennedy family and remember that everyone in America loves the princes of Hyannis Port.

When members of the media ask delegates to the Republican National Convention how anyone should take seriously Sarah Palin's experience when compared to Obama's, we are to applaud such hard-hitting, objective journalism.

When a citizen votes for John McCain in November he will be a racist.

When a citizen votes for Barack Obama in November he is tolerant and will not be at all a sexist or ageist.

Are you not glad we cleared that up?

Matthew May welcomes comments at matthewtmay@yahoo.com