Get a Life, eh?

Canada would seem to be a country with a very fragile ego. It is currently convulsed with outrage over disparaging comments about Quebec and Quebeckers (aka, les Quebecois), made by a television sock puppet character known as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. The outrages occurred on the NBC series Late Night with Conan O'Brien, which has been broadcasting from Toronto the past week, with a million—dollar (C$) subsidy partially—funded by government monies.

 

Perhaps the word 'insult' in the character's name might be the first clue that anyone or anything falling within his purview is subject to ridicule, with no necessary basis in fact. But this doesn't seem to matter to the Canadians, pre—occupied as they are with proving themselves 'nicer' than those mean old Yankees.

 

Among Triumph's sins: putting up phony street signs with the names 'Quebecqueer Street,' and 'Rue des Pussies,' Also, telling one passer—by in Quebec City, "You're French, you're obnoxious and you no speekay English," and another, "I can smell your crotch from here". Perhaps worst of all, Triumph shouted at the Quebecois, "You're in North America, learn the language."

 

Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty, whose provincial government ponied—up half a million Loonies (approximately 380 thousand real dollars), said 'That's not something that I would have laughed at. That doesn't represent the sentiment felt by the people of Ontario towards Quebeckers. I say that with complete confidence.' Of course, we believe him. Everybody in Ontario just loves the Quebecois, and nobody resents them, ever.

 

Other Canadian politicians were even more adamant. Alexa McDonough, a legislator for the left—leaning New Democrats, described the program as "racist filth" and "utterly vile" and demanded the government seek the return of the C$1 million subsidy.

 

The American Thinker was completely unaware until today that the Quebecois were a race unto themselves. Since we have enjoyed many a fine meal in Montreal served by Quebeckers whose ancestors come from such diverse locales as Viet Nam, Haiti, and Poland, we wonder how this can possible be true.

 

It further seems to us that Canadians, including some high—ranking government officials, have a track record of making rather uncharitable statements about Americans, including our Commander—in—Chief. The word 'moron' springs to mind. Until recently, we paid almost no attention. But cabinet ministers do have a way of claiming press space.

 

If one were somehow able to do a massive Nexis search on unfavorable public characterizations of those on the other side of the common border between the US and Canada, we strongly suspect that the trade balance would be highly unfavorable to Americans, with Canada enjoying a massive trade surplus in the export of insults.

 

Nevertheless, the sins of a sock puppet do serve to distract Canadians from the own scandals involving the media, government money, and Quebec, including the payment of suspiciously large amounts of public funds to suspiciously well—connected firms, for suspiciously small amounts of work aimed at convincing les Quebecois that they are genuinely part of Canada, not really interested in being a separate nation, albeit apparently conceded to be a separate race.

 

The unkindest cut of all, of course, is that Americans fundamentally don't care that much about Canada or what Canadians think of us. Our television programs only bother to insult them when we are paid to go there, and have to find something to talk about besides hockey, the cold weather, and the emigration of Canadian comedians to Hollywood and New York.

 

Our uncaring ignorance of them is the ultimate cross borne by our Canadian friends. According to some psychologists, it feels better to be hated than to be the object of indifference. Unfortunately for both countries, Canada may be on the road away from Yankee indifference.

Canada would seem to be a country with a very fragile ego. It is currently convulsed with outrage over disparaging comments about Quebec and Quebeckers (aka, les Quebecois), made by a television sock puppet character known as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. The outrages occurred on the NBC series Late Night with Conan O'Brien, which has been broadcasting from Toronto the past week, with a million—dollar (C$) subsidy partially—funded by government monies.

 

Perhaps the word 'insult' in the character's name might be the first clue that anyone or anything falling within his purview is subject to ridicule, with no necessary basis in fact. But this doesn't seem to matter to the Canadians, pre—occupied as they are with proving themselves 'nicer' than those mean old Yankees.

 

Among Triumph's sins: putting up phony street signs with the names 'Quebecqueer Street,' and 'Rue des Pussies,' Also, telling one passer—by in Quebec City, "You're French, you're obnoxious and you no speekay English," and another, "I can smell your crotch from here". Perhaps worst of all, Triumph shouted at the Quebecois, "You're in North America, learn the language."

 

Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty, whose provincial government ponied—up half a million Loonies (approximately 380 thousand real dollars), said 'That's not something that I would have laughed at. That doesn't represent the sentiment felt by the people of Ontario towards Quebeckers. I say that with complete confidence.' Of course, we believe him. Everybody in Ontario just loves the Quebecois, and nobody resents them, ever.

 

Other Canadian politicians were even more adamant. Alexa McDonough, a legislator for the left—leaning New Democrats, described the program as "racist filth" and "utterly vile" and demanded the government seek the return of the C$1 million subsidy.

 

The American Thinker was completely unaware until today that the Quebecois were a race unto themselves. Since we have enjoyed many a fine meal in Montreal served by Quebeckers whose ancestors come from such diverse locales as Viet Nam, Haiti, and Poland, we wonder how this can possible be true.

 

It further seems to us that Canadians, including some high—ranking government officials, have a track record of making rather uncharitable statements about Americans, including our Commander—in—Chief. The word 'moron' springs to mind. Until recently, we paid almost no attention. But cabinet ministers do have a way of claiming press space.

 

If one were somehow able to do a massive Nexis search on unfavorable public characterizations of those on the other side of the common border between the US and Canada, we strongly suspect that the trade balance would be highly unfavorable to Americans, with Canada enjoying a massive trade surplus in the export of insults.

 

Nevertheless, the sins of a sock puppet do serve to distract Canadians from the own scandals involving the media, government money, and Quebec, including the payment of suspiciously large amounts of public funds to suspiciously well—connected firms, for suspiciously small amounts of work aimed at convincing les Quebecois that they are genuinely part of Canada, not really interested in being a separate nation, albeit apparently conceded to be a separate race.

 

The unkindest cut of all, of course, is that Americans fundamentally don't care that much about Canada or what Canadians think of us. Our television programs only bother to insult them when we are paid to go there, and have to find something to talk about besides hockey, the cold weather, and the emigration of Canadian comedians to Hollywood and New York.

 

Our uncaring ignorance of them is the ultimate cross borne by our Canadian friends. According to some psychologists, it feels better to be hated than to be the object of indifference. Unfortunately for both countries, Canada may be on the road away from Yankee indifference.